it's mostly about napping and hiccuping today. I awoke about 3:00am, wide awake, hiccups. Stayed up about two hours before laying back down. Slept on and off until about 10:30am. Finally got moving a half hour later. Went over by Mom and Dad's for lunch. The first thing I did when I sat down at the table was spill my milk all over the table, me, the chair, the rug, and the floor. It took a good ten minutes to clean up. I felt so bad, but Mom and Dad took it all in stride. After eating, I attempted to do a sudoku puzzle. I couldn't get focused, couldn't think about what I was doing. I gave up. So much for that or playing a game of scrabble. Sat around, talked for a while, read the newspaper, then went to the bank and stopped for a Powerball ticket. I got home about 2:00pm. I laid on the couch and fell asleep. I'm sitting at the computer, typing and hiccuping. That's pretty much my day, feeling okay, starting to notice a few aches and a little weary. I plan on reading and resting for the evening, nothing to exciting.

My friend the hiccups has returned for a brief visit. I noticed I am a little weak today. Out side of that, I'm doing pretty good. Dad is going to pick me up in about an hour to go to the clinic for my Neulasta shot then we're going to get some food for dinner, my choice. I'm not sure of what I want to eat yet though. I talked to a couple of friends today and got a couple of emails from others. It's nice to hear from everyone. I find that writing this blog is very therapeutic for me, I enjoy writing it and sharing part of my life with those who read it. Well, I got to get into the shower and get ready for the day. I know, it's about time!

It was an adventurous day. I drove to UWM to pick Tim up from work so he could go with me to the clinic. We got to the hospital early so we decided to grab a bite to eat. We never got to eat it. We went to the clinic and they called me immediately. After the lab work, the nurse called us into a check up room. I gained weight, 146 lbs. Good. Blood pressure 104/73, 93 bpm, 98.6 temperature, good. Then we waited for the doctor. and waited, waited, waited. Finally the doctor showed up after 45 minutes. Cell counts normal, good. Platelets down again. Not so good. I received a 50% dose again this week. The doctor explained that the lesser treatments will prolong treatments. He ordered scans and blood work for next week to see how I am progressing. He stated I would have the full 12 treatments because the standard is remission plus two cycles. That means I will be busy through January. Not so good, but if that is the case, so be it. I will endure and prevail. I have a trip to Disney to think about, to keep me preoccupied. After the chemo, Tim and I went to dinner. He is such good company, I really appreciated him coming with me. Tomorrow I have to get another Neulasta shot. I'm a little tired out, been a long adventurous day.

Late post. This morning I got up, ate breakfast, showered, watched some TV, then headed over to Mom and Dad's to do laundry and have lunch. At some point, Mom mentioned that I looked tired. I did seem to be worn out and my ankles seemed to be aching. After I was done, I went to the grocery store. When I got home, I unpacked. I decided to lay down for a nap. I spent the rest of the day sleeping on and off. Now I'm ready for bed. I can't believe how tired I am. Tomorrow I have another round of chemo. Hopefully I'll get enough rest tonight.

The highlight of my day has been shaving! Since the beginning of treatment, my facial hair has been easily removed by just washing my face. This last week, I havent been able to do that. So I got out the shaving cream and razor and shaved for the first time in about eight weeks. Since the platelets are low, I took my time and was very careful. As much as I hate shaving, this time it was a thrill.

Today turned out to be another beautiful day. I got up early because I went to breakfast with Mom and Dad, Uncle Boots and Aunt Sharla, Aunt Sandy and Uncle Fred, Aunt Gail and Uncle Wayne, Judy and Dennis, and Aunt Christine and Uncle Doug. Aunt Christine and Uncle Doug are heading back to Florida, so everyone wanted to get together. I had a nice time. I can't believe how noisy the aunts and uncles can be, it reminded me of when the cousins used to get together when we were kids and we were loud and obnoxious! Afterwards, I ran to Target and got a bath mat and a new floor lamp for the living room. I called Tim when I got home to make arrangements to go for chemo on Thursday. Mom and Dad are going to go on a short trip with Aunt Christine and Uncle Doug. Mom and Dad do so much for me, they deserve some time to themselves. I'm feeling good today, no complaints. Come Thursday, I start the cycle all over again. I want to thank Aunt Christine, Uncle Doug, Michael, Linda, Mike, Jennifer and Tom for the latest bunch of cards. It always puts a smile on my face.

It's a nice bright sunny day, I think I'm going to get out and enjoy it. Yesterday was a nice day too. I went out to breakfast with my Dad and Dave, got some prescription refills, napped, talked with Mom, Toni and Christopher on the phone, went for a walk with Tim and Julia, who brought me some delicious apple cinnamon donuts and an apple from an orchard they went to. I'm feeling pretty good, not much happening in the way of side effects. I still tire easily and my strength runs out, so taking it easy and rest are the best thing for me. Today I am going to run to the bank and have dinner by Mom and Dad. I'm off to enjoy the day, enjoy yours.

It's Saturday afternoon, rainy. I got up early this morning, showered and went to visit Kim at the Salon she works at. My mom was there getting her hair done. Surprisingly, she was getting her hair colored pearl blond. She looks good! I like it. I stayed for a few hours visiting with Kim then came home. I'm going to read my book and watch some TV, a nice restful day. I'm feeling pretty good, on the upside of the cycle.

What a difference a day makes. I woke up around 5:00am this morning. It was dark, stormy. I noticed immediately I didn't ache. I stayed up for about an hour, then laid back down and slept until a little after 8:00. Had breakfast, showered, dressed. I decided to call in to work to give an update and Christine answered the switchboard. I chatted with her and we talked about meeting for lunch. Even though it wasn't Monday, we went to McDonalds since I had a Big Mac craving. For those of you who don't know, Mondays are all about the Big Mac. It was good to see Christine, good to get out and about for a while. Now I'm home, going to lie down, rest a few hours and watch Project Runway, Bravo has a marathon of episodes showing this afternoon and evening. I feel human today.

Well, the check up went well, my cell counts are up, but the platelets are down, again. Casey explained that this can be expected, along with the total weariness. I am scheduled for my next round of chemo next Thursday. I did laundry and had a good meal over by Mom and Dad's. While pork is not one of my favorite dishes, the roast was good, and the potatoes had sauerkraut mixed in them. They were tasty. So were the creamed cucumbers, one of my favorite side dishes. I got some prescriptions filled and did some grocery shopping before I came home. It has been a full day. Mom and Dad really take exceptional care of me, I don't have the correct words to convey all they have done and do for me.

Mom's strawberry coffeecake is delicious!!!

Today my enthusiasm is worn. I have been tired most of the week, and feel completely drawn out. I have been running low grade fevers the past couple of nights. I am concerned about my counts tomorrow. I have been resting as much as possible, not pushing myself. I cried a bit this afternoon, worried. It's definitely a struggle, been a down day for me. Hopefully it'll be a better day tomorrow. Mom sent home some chocolate chip cookies and a strawberry coffee cake, a recipe of her own. I'm looking forward to snacking on those tonight, a definite treat. I get to see Casey tomorrow, that makes me smile.

Currently, I feel like I've been beaten by a two by four from head to toe. The body aches have settled in. I am not very sociable, just want to lay on the couch and rest, and soak in the tub for some comfort. Tylenol doesn't really help, so I have to settle in to the aches for the today and tomorrow, then I'll start feeling better. I had dinner over by Mom and Dads tonight, spaghetti, which hit the spot and warmed my belly. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be in a better mood. I'm off to soak.

The tingling, weariness, and aching have slowly returned for a brief stay. I didn't do too much today, spent most of it flitting on and out of sleep. I did go over by Mom and Dad's for dinner, polish sausage, potato salad, baked beans, and jello. It was delicious, a very good meal. Afterwards, I stopped and got gas in the Jeep. First time I spent under $40 to fill my tank in quite a while. I started reading "Peter and the Shadow Thieves", a sequel to "Peter and the Starcatchers", which is a prequel to "Peter Pan". I recommend these books to anyone who loves to read. Tomorrow I plan on doing some cleaning, hopefully the tingling, weariness, and aching with want to clean also. Tonight I am going to try to win $1,000,000 watching "Deal or No Deal". I certainly could use the money. Oh, to dream . . .

I had a really nice day today. Brian, Ellen, and Margie picked me up at 9:00am and we went out for breakfast. I indulged and had coffee with my meal. We ran into Mom and Dad at the restaurant. Afterwards, we dropped Margie off at home, then went to Border's Books. Brian, Ellen, and I spent several hours there, of course I found a lot of books to get, settled on three this trip. We went to Southridge, wandered the mall, then back to their house. We spent some time sitting out on their front porch since it was beautiful out. I stayed for dinner, Mom and Dad, and Heidi and Mario joined Brian, Ellen, Margie, Tom and I. I am tired out, been a nice long day, but I'm ready for a nap now. Hope I stay awake to catch the Amazing Race.

In between the hiccups and the naps, I'm feeling okay. I can tell I am worn today, and getting a little achy. Following the pattern. Went over by Mom and Dad's and did laundry, had lunch. Afterwards, I came home, turned on the TV and took a nap. I got up, thought I'd make a quick post, get something to drink, and head back to the couch.

Today I just can't seem to get into the swing of things. I'm definitely out of sorts. Me and the hiccups are feeling all right, it's the motivations that are misfiring. I did finally get into the shower about 2:00pm, only because I have to go get the Neulasta shot at the clinic and wanted to be clean. Otherwise I would be on the couch. Maybe it's the cable viewing that is throwing me. I keep finding shows to watch. My guilty pleasure right now is Project Runway, so I will be seeking it out to view anytime it is on. My thought pattern has been in high gear, thinking about a lot of things. I want to go back to work, I thing I need that structure in my life, feel like I have so much time on my hands and mind. I'll see how the next weeks go and talk to the Doctor about it, even if it's part time to start off. I also think I want to take up archery. It all started back in July when I noticed an archery field over by the clinic. I go by it every time I go to the clinic and I think it would be a good hobby. Even better, there is an archery field in Sheridan park, two blocks from my apartment. I'm still toying with the idea, but am moving closer to the determination to give it a go. Well that's about it for now, will be heading out to the clinic in about 20 minutes.

Today's report was good. 114/70 blood pressure, 98.3 temperature, 92 bps, and weight a whopping 142. blood counts were good, except for the platelets again, so I received a 50% dose. Tomorrow I get another Neulasta shot. I'm feeling good, haven't napped all day! I'll probably be asleep by 9:00pm tonight! Oh well, I'll fall asleep watching cable!

I got digital cable today. So many channels to pick from!!!! Survivor starts tonight and I am psyched. I will be going for chemotherapy in a few hours, not so psyched. Right now I am going to lounge on the couch until Dad picks me up and enjoy flipping through the channels. I will post more information later today.

Raining, Raining, Raining. What a cruddy day. I did my civic duty and voted today. I did my civic duty and washed clothes today. Ate lunch with Mom and dad, came home, napped. Feeling good again today, the aches, pains, and tingling have been very tolerable. That's a good thing. Now if only the sun would shine.

Here is a picture of all the cards I have received from everyone. I appreciate all the thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. I will keep the cards up for the duration of my treatment as a source of strength and inspiration. Thanks to Aunt Sharla and Uncle Boots, Patrick, Beth, Julie, and Eileen for the latest bunch! I love getting them!

Certainly is a gray gloomy day. I'm going to have to watch "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" this afternoon. I ran out to the grocery store earlier. Of course it started pouring when I got out of the store. Last night, the heat in my apartment kicked in. I was up about 1:45am and the radiators started rattling and clanking. I was shocked! Actually, the heat is on right now as I type. Wow. Didn't realize it was that cold out. Depressing. I definitely have to watch a Disney movie this afternoon.

The rain has set in, looks like it's going to be a few dreary days. While it is not cold, it certainly isn't warm. I'm already missing Summer. Feeling all right, had a nice day. Went over by Mom and Dad's, played scrabble, had dinner, then home. It has been a restful day.

Had an adventurous day. Went to Mom and Dad's for Stuffed Green Peppers (one of my all time favorites). Tim and Julia came over, ate with us, then the three of us headed out to The Outlet Mall in Kenosha. Along the way we rocked out to Disco and 70s music via Tim's Satellite Radio. At one point we were all grooving to "Off the Wall" by MJ, it was rather amusing and fun. Once we got to the mall, I had to go to Calvin Klein, Journeys, PacSun, Zumiez. Ended up making a few purchases. I really needed those pair of shoes. Really. Justification: I'm wearing them to Disney. I had a really good time at the Mall. Now my ankles ache. I soaked in the tub earlier, wonder if I should do it again. I've been feeling very good the last couple of days, but noticed yesterday I have a rash on my neck and chest. I'll keep an eye on it, and show the Doctor Thursday if I still have it then. I sure hope I didn't react to Mr Bubble. Tonight I used some old bubble bath liquid I had been using.

Yogurt and I. Picture taken 09/08/06 9:34pm with my cell phone. Can you tell I'm bored?

Well the medical bills are starting to come in. I am dumbfounded by the cost of health care. I am thankful I have insurance. I can't imagine how someone without medical coverage would be able to afford treatment. The first bill came for my lymph node biopsy. Total charges $12,183.49. Insurance payment $12,083.49. My cost $100. That is my co-pay for hospital stays. The second bill covers my emergency room visit for my intestinal issues and my hospitalization for transfusions. Emergency room visit $5,075.06. Hospital stay $16,631.65, totalling $21,706.71. Insurance payments $21,606.71. My cost $100. The amounts are staggering, frightening. Having a major illness is not cheap. Makes me think of a bad credit card ad. Blood transfusion/Hospital stay $21,706.71. Insurance payment $21,606.71. Out of pocket expense $100.00. Love and support of family and friends, PRICELESS.

Today turned out to be a good day all around. Everything went well at the clinic, I will be having my next chemotherapy treatment next week as scheduled. All my levels are up. I did laundry, had a delicious lunch by Mom and Dad, awesome Italian Shredded Beef. Went with Dad to Aunt Gail and Uncle Wayne's to get some vegetables from the garden. Judy and Dennis were there and Aunt Gail and Judy sure made me feel like a million bucks, with their compliments and encouragement. Dad and I stopped at Sam's club, where I got stuff for the cupboards. Feeling good, upbeat. Going to read and watch TV and lounge for the evening.

The last couple of days have been about coping. Coping with the constant aches, pains, and fatigue. It's not unbearable, it just never ceases. I find comfort in sleep and soaking in the tub. I have a new nightly ritual of putting on a CD of 80s music and soaking for a good half an hour in a luxurious sudsy soapy bath. For those few moments, I feel almost human, almost normal, almost. Tomorrow I have my check up, will be interested in my cell counts, platelet count, my weight, and when my next treatment will be. Today I went to Red Lobster for luch with Mom and Dad. I recommend the cheddar garlic biscuits. Ate too much, it was good though.

I've settled into the tingling fingers and weariness stage. The random sporatic hiccups have gone for now. The next few days are going to be hard, dragging. At least I am aware of the cycle of how things go. I have some good books to read andthe new TV season is starting. I'll be on the couch if anyone wants me.

It has been a great day. Good eats for lunch and dinner, a trip to Borders Bookstore where I got some interesting reading material, a new Scrabble dictionary. Of course after a short afternoon nap, Mom, Dad, and I played a game of Scrabble, which I WON! It is rare for me to beat my mother at Scrabble. For the record this is only the second time ever. Done gloating, back to my regular hiccuping.

Slept in today, and it feels good, I feel good. Yesterday was pretty much a good day, felt better than I did on Thurdsday, more energy, less aches, and the random sporatic hiccups. Went and got a Neulasta shot, then Mom, Dad and I had Arby's roast beef sandwiches and loaded potatoes for dinner. Slept through much of the evening and settled into bed about 10:00pm. Mom got me up about 9:30am this morning. Showered, fed, going to do laundry, have a delicious lunch of Italian Sausage, Hot Dogs, and Corn on the Cob. The hiccups and I wish you all a great day.