I'll be napping when I get home from work. While I was able to stay up through the evening, I feel like I haven't gotten any sleep. I had to watch out for mountain lion this morning while getting out of the Jeep. I heard on the news one has been spotted in the area. There is a wooded area that runs along a creek and I have seen deer, coyote, squirrel, dog, sasquatch, crane, cardinal or two, but no mountain lion. I will keep a vigilant watch out my window.

I'm going to try to make it through the evening without taking a nap. We'll see how it goes. I am tempted to lie down on the couch. Things are going all right, Definitely feeling good. Tired of course.

I'm at work early morning, ready to begin my day. I can't help but think of what a great weekend I had running around, spending too much money, having a chocolate malt with breakfast, rummaging, driving miles and miles. It was a liberating, irresponsible weekend. They don't get any better than that.

After a busy day of writing up paperwork (I finished it all), I am finally going to get outside and enjoy the nice weather. I'm feeling good, not so wiped out as I have been, the fatigue is fading. Glad I got all my work done. Now it's time to play. and eat.

Brought a huge stack of paperwork home for the weekend. Going to be busy writing in between naps. The weather looks to be really nice too, so I am going to try and get out and enjoy it. Tonight I am going to lounge, do a logic puzzle or two and watch TV. Glad the weekend is here.

The Hot Dogs at lunch were awesome!!! April's food day was a tailgating theme. There were plenty of dogs, fixin's, pasta salads, potato salad, tuna salad, and chocolate cake. I ate plenty. Napped when I got home, had Alice in Wonderland on (Toon Disney has been showing movies from 4:00pm to 6:00pm) as I slept. Busy night on TV with Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, and ER. Feeling good, still tired but dealing with that, I love my naps.

I found it hard to get out of bed this morning and I felt tired all day despite getting eight hours of sleep. I took a nap once I got home. I had stopped at the store on the way and bought some fruit. I needed to get relish and celery salt for food day at work tomorrow and completely forgot it. I'll have to stop on the way, in the morning.

Not too much going on today. Worked a full day (for the first time in 20 days). Came home and took a nap. I'm still getting used to the fact that I don't have any treatments to go to! It was nice being able to take 30 minutes for lunch, being able to sit and enjoy my food. Looking forward to watching TV tonight and relaxing.

and with number 20 completed, I am done. Now the follow ups begin, in a few weeks. I came home, sat on the couch and cried. All the frustrations, fear, aggrevations over, replaced with a sense of relief and happiness.

Ready for a nap. I have been plunking away at the spreadsheet for work for a couple of hours. I want to finish what I can before I email it back to work. It seems like a nice day out, want to go bike riding, but I think the couch is more in line for this afternoon. Gameshow Network, a yoohoo, and a nap. Perfect Sunday afternoon activities.

I brought work home with me, to make up time I'm using on medical appointments. I have been on the computer throughout the day researching and pricing equipment. I took a break this afternoon, Mom called and invited me over for pizza. While there, I noticed I was wiped out. I came home and took a nap for two hours. I am done working, want to spend the evening on the couch, I am still tired. Plus Pretty in Pink is on at 9:00pm and I plan on watching it. Hey, MTV is having an America's Next Top Model Marathon!!!!

When the treatment is in progress (about 10 seconds) it can create static electricity and today it was apparent, the hair on my legs were standing up and dancing around. Afterwards, as I was changing back into my clothes, the gown crackled as I removed it. Number 19 out of the way, ONE MORE LEFT. While I'm glad to have a two day break, I'm kind of wishing it was Monday already.

Number 18 done. Only two more to go. I chatted with Shirley, a woman getting radiation treatment for lung cancer, while waiting for my turn on the table. She is in her early 50s and has four treatments left. We talked about our ordeals, being in remission, and moving on once treatment is finished. There was respect and compassion, along with a sense of relief in our words. We wished each other the best on my way out. I believe I feel human again. Ready to conquer the world. . . after I nap!

I've been watching the weather. It is deteriorating and I am dreading the drive to and from the clinic. What I dread worse is missing a treatment and dragging this out another day. I'll put the Jeep in 4WD and take my time. I'm hungry, tired, and ready to leave for the clinic now. I have another hour to go before I leave.

I shouldn't be too surprised, but my platelets are down under 100. The radiation treatments can effect blood cell counts. Since I am on Coumadin and my count is low, I need to be very careful not to injure myself. No shaving this week. (Damn!) Beside that, the fatigue has settled in. It seems like no matter how much sleep I get, it's not enough. This should last a few weeks after treatment ends. The doctor is pleased with my progress and I will finish up on Monday as expected. 16 treatments down, four more to go. If you haven't noticed, I have been counting since it began. Time to curl up on the couch again.

Treatment 15 is done. Went by quickly. I then got to have a massage. I asked the massuese to concentrate on my shoulder region. She did an awesome job. Right when I was at the point of total relaxation, it was over. Too fast. I told her I could lay on the table all day. I made sure I was on the list for next week. I had dinner by my Mom and Dad, along with Michael, Erin, and Justin. There is always so much food, roast beef, country fried steak, chicken strips, mashed potatos, peas and carrots, rolls, creamed cucumbers, jello and for dessert ice cream sundaes. I look forward to dinner every Monday. We sit and have a good meal, great conversation, and good laughs.

Happy Easter Everybody!!! Hope you all find wonderous things in your Easter baskets. Mine is filled with carefree days, restful nights, and hope for the future. That and chocolate. Been sleeping a lot, watching TV. I did get out and grocery shopped. I'm excited (egg-cited) to go over to Scott and Barb's for Easter Brunch today. Good food and company.

Finally Friday. I can sleep for hours if I want to. I want to. Had my 13th and 14th treatments. Counting down the days. My Pro-Time is 2.7, right where it needs to be. I'll get my blood checked again in a month. The clot must be getting smaller in size, there is no more pain or pressure behind the knee. I still get swelling, but that even seems less now. Work closed early today, so I came home right after my radiation treatment and now I'm going to go nap.

Got through two more treatments, numbers 11 and 12 the past few days. Only 8 more and I am done. The technology fascinates me, I'm always asking questions about the machine and the treatment, watching the machine as it rattles and hums, and microwaves me. The procedure really is nothing, I just lay on the table. When I was at EPCOT on my trip, I had the chance to learn to operate a Segway, the personal transportation of the future. It was cool! You have to be coordinated in order to drive it, so it was a challenge for me. I didn't hurt myself or fall off. The Segway costs about $5,000. Now I just have to win the lottery to get myself one to play with. Or I'll just have to go back to EPCOT and ride it again. I think I'll do that!

Have reached the half way point with today's treatment. Ten down, ten more to go. Reached my toleration point, just getting through the next two weeks is going to be a major challenge. Mindset: I just want it to be done with. I got a massage after treatment this afternoon. That was great, definitely a good thing to have at this point.

I need to shave but am too lazy. I have been reading most of the day in between naps. Not much to write about, haven't been up to anything. I have been experiencing diarrhea in the evenings. I can eat during the day without any issues, after dinner, watch out. Oh the joys of side effects. Immodium is my new friend. The fatigue is there, it doesn't interfere with much though. I like having two days to rest up.

Early Saturday morning. I'm getting breakfast together, cream of wheat, yogurt. I get a two day reprieve from treatments. Finished number nine yesterday. Found out that on Mondays, the massage therapist is in the office and I get to have one after treatment. I like that, something to look forward to. I'm heading out to the book store at some point and I think I am going to get Kopp's too. Hope the flavor of the day is decent.

Another day, another treatment. Eight so far. Twelve more to go. The doctor has decided to add three additional treatments just to make sure things are completely cleaned up. The rationale, I only received 50% dosage of chemotherapy most of the time. I am responding well to treatment, having minor skin irritation and noticing some fatigue. April 16th is now my final day of treatment. I'll be glad when it's over.

Today I became a registered member of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS). I am interested in becoming an advocate. I feel it is the right thing to do. I wish I would have been aware of this foundation earlier, but I can do more now, so the timing is right. Don't be surprised if I become involved with fund raising events. Good things can come out of what I've been through.

I'm starting to feel fatigue. I noticed it while taking a walk with Judy this morning. I felt like I was struggling to keep pace even though we weren't walking fast. My limbs feel weighted down. I had another treatment, six down, eleven more to go. Overall it hasn't been too bad, the technology fascinates me. I'm always asking the technician questions about the machines, the laser beams. It's like I'm getting an education.

What a gorgeous day out. I thought about riding my bike tonight, but that's as close to getting outdoors as I can manage. I am considerably lazy. I'm riding the couch. I had the fifth treatment today, each one gets me closer to the end of the journey. Then what will I write about? I'm sure I'll find things to say.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 . . . The Magic Kingdom is officially open!!!!!


Oh, it seems like yesterday. It's been a month and everytime I think or talk about it, it's like I'm reliving the moment. What a trip it was. I got to show Tim and Julia the pictures last night over by Mom and Dad. We had dinner together, then the picture show. Mom and Dad have seen the pictures, and Mom can narrate pretty good! I enjoyed my time with them!

Early Saturday morning. A misdialed call woke me up. I feel like sleeping all day. I went out for a fish fry with Brian and Ellen after work, then we picked up Margie and met Michael at the movie theater to see 300. It was a brutally good movie, will definitely buy it on DVD. I got home shortly after 9:00pm and was asleep by 10:00pm. Treatment yesterday went fine, it's funny how it has become part of my daily routine. It'll be funnier when it's not part of my day though. Today is going to be a lazy one for me, I just want to lay around, and I'm going to.

Got the third treatment out of the way. I'm starting to get into the routine, it's not so bad after all. For now. The nurse informed me that side effects are delayed, it takes about 10 days. I feel okay, so I will see next week. I'm going to lay low, not do too much during this time. I like lounging, so now's the time to do it.

Had the second treatment today. The nurse sat with me and explained side effects. Fatigue and skin irritation are the main ones. I may experience nausea and diarrhea also. I will have blood drawn on Tuesdays and see the doctor on Thursdays during my span of treatments. I just have to get used to my new routine. Patrick mailed me copies of pictures from his camera and copies of the ones taken by the Disney photographer. I now have over 300 pictures to choose from. Be prepared for the onslaught!

Not anything like I expected it to be. All things considered, it was nothing. I just laid on the table, the machine rotated around me, and buzzed when the radiation was being applied. Once on top, once underneath. Buzz for about 10 seconds each application. Took me longer to get dressed. I have new temporary tattoos, the old ones replaced, a whole new treasure map. It was all very interesting.

Well I finally got the phone call today. I begin radiation treatments tomorrow. While I'm glad to get things started, I'm nervous and scared. Once I know what I'm going to experience, I will be more relaxed. April 11th is my last scheduled treatment. Is it April 12th yet?

Spent the day at a wedding shower. Katie and Jason's. Julie and I are DJing their wedding at the end of May. Katie is Kim's niece. It was nice getting together with the Klugiewiczs. I always have a good time with my second family! Plenty of good food and friends. I'm a bit worn out, not used to the crowds and noise. My leg is getting stiff, swollen from being active today. Tonight I'll be lounging on the couch.

Got all those curls cut this morning. I feel much better about my hair now that it has been tamed. Kim did a nice job shaping it, the cut is more conducive to curly hair, I don't mind it for now. I guess I will have to work with my hair then resent it. I'm grateful it grew back, but does it have to be so darn curly?

No phone call yet. I'm agitated. Monday I will be calling the clinic. I'll have an enjoyable weekend, lots of things to do like laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping. No side effects to slow me down at all. Just want to get the ball rolling on the radiation treatments. I'm still agitated.

I remember the first night in Florida, Pat, Toni, Chris, and I went to Downtown Disney and had a celebratory dinner at Fulton's. Fresh seafood. I had a combination platter of Mahi Mahi, Alaskan King Crab, and Shrimp. I usually don't eat any seafood except shrimp, so I was being brave. Pat and Toni shared a platter of Lobster and Crab legs, which creeped me out! Here is a picture of the Lobster. Chris had Fried Shrimp, Scallops. It was delicious and a great start to the vacation. It's been three weeks all ready and it seems like years ago.

Still waiting on the phone call from the radiation oncologist to start treatment. I wanted to begin last week, wondering if it won't be until next week. I am wondering too much, it's picking at my brain, playing with my mind. I have said this so many times all ready, I want to start now, to get it over as soon as possible. The warm weather has passed for now, back to cold days. I have spring fever, badly. I do like having daylight savings time early. Got the oil changed, the tires rotated, and new wiper blades on the Jeep. Getting ready for Spring.

Not too much going on. Just working, lounging, reading, watching TV. I still am waiting to find out when radiation treatments are going to start, I figure Thursday or Friday, at the latest next Monday. I'll be glad to get started, then it'll be over. I'm doing fine, feeling good, no complaints.

Beautiful sunny day, nice out. I got the Jeep washed, stopped at the bookstore, went for a walk. It's been a good day. Feeling great, the leg's not bothering me. I'll take days like this anytime!

More about the trip: Animal Kingdom is my favorite park. I love the Jamming in the Jungle parade. Everest Expedition is an awesome ride. I love the atmosphere. Pat, Chris, and I went there first, met up with Aunt Christine and Uncle Doug. While walking through the park we saw Lilo and Stich, so I had to get my picture. I have to tell the story of the Iraq War Veteran. Chris and I noticed him while on the Pangani Forest Exploration Trail. He was in a wheelchair, I first caught glance of artificial arms, hooks for hands. Then he stood up on two artificial legs and walked to the viewing area around the gorillas. I wanted to stare, watch, but couldn't. My heart went out to this guy, his wife, and small children. I didn't notice his face was scarred, his nose missing. Behind him there was a parade of five electric carts with overweight individuals. I was appalled, even disgusted. I wanted to cry for this man trying to make a normal life and scream at the people who were capable of having one but weren't making the effort. I felt my experiences with the cancer and the blood clot aren't so bad in comparison. I also have the utmost respect for this man and none for the current Washington administration. Another fleeting moment at the Animal Kingdom featured the Minnie Girls, three cute Asian girls wearing red miniskirts with white polka dots, black leggings and yellow shoes, just like Minnie Mouse. They were adorable, Chris managed to get his picture with them. We spent the rest of the trip looking for them! More on events of the trip when I recall them...

My Pro-Time is 2.6, Dr Kaiser wants me to continue on the current dose of Coumadin I am taking and have my blood checked again in a month. I finally looked at my body tattooed, I feel like a treasure map, purple Xs on my hips, stomach, and where the lymph node was removed. They are temporary, should last the three weeks of treatment.

Oh yeah, I finally got a Sam's Club card, Thanks to my Dad!!!!

Just another day, not much going on. I'm waiting for a phone call from Dr Kaiser about my Pro-Time, had my blood drawn yesterday. Want to make sure the blood thinner is working (therapeutic). Hope I don't need to have more blood work for a while, give the old veins a rest. Work's been slow, hope that picks up soon. Daydreaming about Disney, seems like it's been a long time since I've been there. The Jeep's paid off, officially mine now, so that money can be directed towards student loan payments. Feeling good, Really good. After radiation treatments and a few weeks recovering, I plan on getting the bike out and riding the trail along the lake and learning archery. Once the weather turns, I want to start enjoying the outdoors more than I have lately. Just another day.

Well, the planning and scans went fine. It was not what I expected at all, no stainless steel, no radiation suits, I wasn't strapped down to a sterile operating table. I had to drink barium for the scan, the contrast material provided the flush of warmth through my body. I wasn't too embarassed during the planning stage, the technician worked on me without too much exposure. I am tattooed and ready. Treatments will start sometime next week.

Today's appointment included a physical exam, the doctor explained about the radiation treatments, the technician explained the procedures, and blood work (more needles!). Thursday, I go for another CT Scan and measurements, plotting for actual treatments, that will start sometime next week. I was hoping to start immediately, but that isn't in the cards. What's one more week? I'm beginning to feel like this is never going to end. I just want to get this over with and put it behind me. Plus I'm tired of taking time off from work for appointments.

Just got up, had the chance to sleep a little later this morning. I have my appointment with the Radiology Oncologist today. I'm not sure what to expect and that has me a little edgy. Until I am familiar with the process, I will be nervous. Once again I have the image of stainless steel room, me strapped to a table, and people in radiation suits on the outside looking in, watching. Something out of a bad sci-fi movie. Oh how I wish I were at Disney MGM Studios, dining at the Sci-Fi Cafe, watching B-movies with Pat and Chris again . . .

The last few days of rest have been good. I put my leg up as much as possible. I'm glad I decided to relax. Not only did I get to Disney, Chris, Pat and I went to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. One of my favorite rides was Dr Doom's. Chris and I are on the right. As I recall more events of the trip, I will be writing about them.

I start my radiation treatments soon, have my planning appointment on Tuesday. The doctor will take measurements and I will be tattooed so technicians will know exactly where to place the radiation. I am wary of the treatments, but know this will improve my condition. Having been on my trip, I can do this. The sooner I get treatment, the soon it'll all be over. I just might have to go on another trip when I'm all done. Oh yeah, and when I can afford it!

It's already one week since I got to throw pixie dust and open the Magic Kingdom. The euphoria lingers like I'm still standing at the Main Street Station overlooking the throngs of people waiting to enter the park. The wonder of it all didn't end there. We were invited by the Mad Hatter and Alice to ride the teacups later that morning. What a day it was!

How easy it is to get into the vacation routine and how hard it is to get back to the grind. I woke up early this morning and it was snowing, cold, and windy. I was expecting sun, warmth, and another day at the theme parks. Reality sunk in fast. Good thing I have a few days to get into the swing of things. Today I am resting my leg, after eight days of walking, walking, walking. Now it's dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of my next trip to Disney. It always goes so fast.

It has been a turbulent day. Both flights were bumpy, especially the one from Detroit to Milwaukee. I was conflicted about coming home. I had an amazing time at Disney and didn't want it to end, yet I wanted to be home and see my Mom and Dad and family and friends. My trip was incredible, satisfying, and makes me want to live in Florida. Back to the snow and cold. All is good, I am good. What an adventure!

Today we are traveling over to Universal Studios. It has been quite a long time since I have been there. Looking forward to taking on Jaws, as the last time he won, sinking our boat. I am having a blast, I will be talking about this vacation for quite a long time.

My leg is doing all right considering the amount of walking I've been doing. No pain, just swelling. I put it up as much as possible and when I can't push anymore, it's time to get back to the hotel. Today we plan on going to EPCOT. Disney has been good for me. Thanks to Pat, Toni, and Chris for getting me here.

Here are all the characters who greeted us in Toon Town. I think this has to be one of the high points of my life, I am so grateful to share it with Pat, Toni, Chris, Aunt Christine and Uncle Doug. I wish everyone of my family and friends could have been here too!

Trip of a lifetime no doubt about it. I got to open the Magic Kingdom on Saturday. Aunt Christine and Uncle Doug picked Pat, Toni, Chris, and I up at 7:20am. We arrived at the park shortly before 8:00am. We waited by the train station. Around 8:00am, our ride arrived. It was an old fashioned fire truck. We got to cruise Main Street back to Toon Town. We were to ride on the train, along with Mickey Mouse and other characters, into the Main Station at the entrance of the park, welcome all guests, and throw pixie dust. I expected several characters. Pluto came and I was excited. All at once, there were characters coming down the street towards us. It was incredible. Mickey, Daisy, Chip, Dale, Alice, Mad Hatter, Stitch, Horace, Clarabelle and more all greeted us. What great photo opportunities we had. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. It was wonderful. I can not thank Aunt Christine enough for getting me the chance of a lifetime. Pictures will follow, my trip has been amazing

All packed and ready to go! Now the long wait until I get to the airport, then the adventure begins. I have been looking forward to this trip for so long and here it is. If I can, I will post, if not, I will have plenty to say when I get back. Enjoy your week everyone! I know I will.

getting ready for lunch. at least I am ready for something. tonight I have to pack. fortunately most of my shorts still fit, so I don't need to wonder what I'm going to wear for eight days. I have to get my Pro-Time checked today. I am also picking up a suit case from Mom and Dad. It looks to be a busy night. Keeps me occupied and distracted so I don't go stir crazy waiting to get picked up to go to the airport. Oh yeah, my leg feels fine, the compression sock is wonderful.

Disney here I come . . .

Picture taken September 2004. I need some new pictures.

Leaving for Florida in two days and I am not prepared. Tonight is going to be a night of frantic activity. Laundry, then cramming clean clothes into my luggage. Last night I had dinner by Mom and Dad. Mike, Erin, and Justin were there. I thoroughly enjoyed sitting around talking with them, dining together. Family is important. Talked with Dr Kaiser, my Pro-Time level is good, been maintaining around 3. The trip is a go. Stopped at Target, got a pair of shorts, Walgreens provided inflight snacks and a compression sock. I am wearing it today to see how it feels. There is definite support. I have to wear it on the flight. (Between you and me, I am psyched about going to Disney.)

I had a very enjoyable weekend in the Dells. Spent most of the time reclining, legs up, relaxing. It was nice to spend time with Kim, Sarah, Nicholas, Jody, Janet, Steve, Traci, Ryan, Gail, Harry, Leah, John, Croix, Mary, Abby, Mark, Sandy, Breanna, Marki, John, Cindy, Kyle, Kayla, and Karly. Lots of activities and adventures. I did go in the hot tub. The leg held up pretty good, the pain has lessened, the medicine working. Disney in four days. I need to pack. Tomorrow, laundry.

Keep your fingers crossed. I'm going to have my Pro-Time checked in an hour. Hopefully I will be in the ballpark of 3-3.5, maintaining the right level of blood thinner in my veins. I have noticed a considerable change in the pain through my leg. It now feels like a charley horse, compared to the biting pain it was on Monday. Hopefully the clot is beginning to dissipate. I am going to a "practice" vacation this weekend, up to the Dells. My plan to hang out, walk some, wade some, lazy river it, and possibly hot tub the weekend away. All this in preparation for Disney! As long as the Doctor is cool with it. Cross them fingers now!!!!

I am clinging to this upcoming trip to Disney with all my might. I know that if I have to cancel it, I will, but it will destroy me. Part of all that I have been going through has been mental. Cancer manages to play games, treatment tests, complications wrestle your body and mind. The body seems to be slowly getting better, despite the setback of having blood clots. Disney has been the strength of the mind, the escape to something good, something wonderful after so many months of enduring. I know my limitations and wouldn't jeopardize my health for frivolity. This trip is therapeutic.

I reached the level of 3.1 Pro-Time with the increased medicine. I have been removed from those and am back on the previously established schedule. I will have my blood tested again Friday, then Monday to check to see if I maintain my levels. More blood work! I've stopped imagining going more than seven days without having it drawn. At least for now.

Oncology Alliance continues to make such good impressions on me. I requested that I would like a Radiation Oncologist from the 74th and Rawson office instead of the Mayfair one. I was contacted this morning by Michael, the assistant to Dr Kwon to set up the appointment. He rattled off February 27th. I explained I would be out of town until March 1st and would like the appointment around March 6th, like previously scheduled with the Mayfair clinic. Michael, gave an audible huff, then silence. Silence that lasted a while. I had to say "hello, hello?", just to make sure he was still on the phone. The response ~ "March 6th 9:30, Thank you" in a harsh tone followed by a swift disconnection. Nice.

The blood clot has increased in size. It is located behind my right knee. It is extending downward into my calf. I have a second clot on the inner right thigh also. The doctor has increased my medicines. I'm giving myself Lovenox shots again. The goal is to get my Pro-Time (INR) to 3 or above. As of yesterday, I was at 1.8.

I didn't think I would get to work this morning. On Tenth and Drexel there was a bad accident and the entire intersection was closed, traffic rerouted through an industrial park back to Rawson Avenue. The left lane was completely backed up so I went right back to Howell, then to Puetz. Of course there was a train crossing. I turned around back to Howell up to Ryan Rd. Everything went smoothly from that point.

not one of my better days. slept late, forgot my lunch, took an hour to drive in to work, and my leg is killing me. I have to contact the doctors office today. I am so afraid they are going to put me on complete bed rest. But I also don't like the pain either. It is snowing and the roads are slippery, I saw numerous accidents along the way. I made it in no problem, just one hour on the road for a normal twenty minute drive.

Still waiting on warm weather. Guess it'll be waiting for me in Florida. I am getting more excited as the trip gets closer. I have been on my feet too much, my leg is swollen, stiff, and sore. I am going to have an elevate my leg day tomorrow, rest it up. Disney on Ice was very entertaining, I saw Peter Pan, 101 dalmations, the little mermaid, and Lilo and Stitch. A good primer for the real thing. Tinker Bell was a flashing light, I was a little disappointed. Oh well, I'll see her fly from the castle when I'm in Florida! I'm off to the couch to elevate my leg.

Blood tests are done to check the prothrombin time. The prothrombin time is reported in a standardized form called the international normalized ratio (INR). The goal is to keep the INR within a certain range, usually between 2-3 by adjusting your dose of Coumadin. My test results came back 1.5. The doctor has increased my dosage to 7.5mg three days a week, 5mg the rest. I don't have to go have my blood drawn until the 19th. That makes it the first time since July I have gone over one week between blood tests. To me that is a big deal.

The doctor wants me to have my blood drawn at least once a week to monitor the Coumadin levels. I love getting jabbed with needles on a weekly basis. It is lunch time, I have a Stouffer's Spaghetti and Meatball frozen dinner, that is pretty darn good, I will have to get it again. For a snack, a banana nut muffin. Tonight I plan on lounging on the couch, watching Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, and ER. Two weeks 'til I go to Disney!!!

I can't go longer than seven days without getting my blood drawn. I have the latest Doctors appointment this afternoon. Yay. I went to Scott and Barb's last night, turned into an impromptu dinner with Erin and Mike. The roads were kind of bad last night, I got to slide through the intersection of 76th and Rawson, and fish tail around the same corner on the way home. It was nerve racking, jittery fun.

I was able to get to work this cold cold cold morning in my Jeep without any issues. Thanks Dad for getting the Jeep up and running yesterday. Once again, I don't know what I'd do without him. Work is going fine, I am taking a quick break to eat lunch. Tonight I am going to drive around, keep the Jeep running. Tomorrow I have a follow up for the blood clot and blood thinners. More blood tests. Fun.

It's too damn cold to be going to work. I am irritated, the Jeep wouldn't start this morning. It would turn over but not catch. I didn't want to drain the battery so I gave up after a couple of tries. Thanks to my Dad for getting me to work this morning. The car ran fine all weekend. Lots of coffee, laughs, junk food. I had a great weekend. Hopefully this week will be good despite how it began. Grrrrrrrr.

What a week it's been. I am glad I went back to work. It's good to have a distraction. I feel good, almost better than when I first started getting sick. That is a big statement to make. It's true though. I am noticing the improvement. After six months of dragging, I feel full of energy. The soreness in my leg is slowly subsiding, it's not as tight and achy as it has been. The blood thinners must be working. It's getting cold outside. Brrrr. Arctic. Good time to hibernate.

Getting back to work has been incredible. It has given me a boost of energy. I need this. It has been a good week despite the blood clot and the news of radiation treatments. Yesterday I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, a setback, I want this to be finished. I just have to push through several weeks in March. The support of family, friends, and coworkers has really helped. I get a break for February, a trip to Disney with Pat, Toni, and Chris, before I go through the remaining treatments. This is the time to rest, enjoy my time, and reclaim my livelyhood. I plan on doing that. Physically, I feel great, despite how the leg hurts from the blood clot, it's not the pains and aches from chemotherapy. Now, if only I could win Powerball . . .

The first day at work went well. Lots of people shaking my hand, hugging me, welcoming me back. My desk is decorated with TP and balloons, and a Sago Palm tree. The Radiation Oncologist has recommended I get 17 radiation treatments. The survival rate jumps from 85 to 95%. I didn't want to hear the news, almost devastating. I am researching on the Internet about radiation therapy and it's effects. Luckily, treatments won't begin until after I return from my trip to Disney.

This is me "Flying High". The picture was taken the last Sunday in April 2006 at Indiana Dunes National Park. Char, her kids Michelle and Kirsi, and I went on a last minute spring break trip overnight Saturday-Sunday. We got to spend three hours basking in the sun, frolicking in the sand before heading back to cold Wisconsin. This was one of the last times I felt normal. I have referred to this moment in the past. This picture captures the feeling. I have talked with Char about going back so I can jump the dunes once again.

I have a large Blood Clot in my right leg. Deep Vein Thrombosis is the technical/medical term. I have been experiencing bad pains in my right calf. It started Thursday/Friday. I thought I pulled a muscle. Over the weekend I tried to stay off my feet, took some pain medication, tried heat and ice packs. Sunday morning I cleared off my car, and the pain was intense. I went to change my pants and noticed my right calf was swollen, much larger than my left calf. I made calls to Ellen, the Oncology clinic, and my insurance. Everyone told me the same thing. Get to the Emergency room immediately. I called my dad, he went with me. I was in the ER for about 4 hours, an ultrasound showed I have a large blood clot in my right leg. I was admitted to the hospital overnight. I couldn't go to work yet. I have to give myself injections of Lovenox twice daily for the next 5 days, take Coumadin once daily, and follow up with my physician. I will be on blood thinners for a while. This is a common occurrance with patients receiving chemotherapy. The fun never ends.

Well, the insurance check arrived in the mail this morning! I can afford to live again. I did some laundry early, ran to the bank, and had lunch with Mom and Dad. I plan on lounging the rest of the day and tomorrow. I'm getting myself ready to get back into the swing of things. Slowly, things are coming back together.

I need to have an MRI done on my left shoulder because the Pet Scan shows a mass. The Doctor can not determine what it is using the scan. He checked out my shoulder and range of motion, which is fine. I am experiencing no pain so he recommended the MRI. It is not related to the Hodgkin's Lymphoma in any way. So, I am still in the grey, not sure what's going on, will follow the Doctor's recommendation. Right now, I'm not too concerned. I had lunch with Mom and Dad, Fish Fry from Jeff's. It was delicious. They were kind enough to borrow me some money to get groceries since I still haven't gotten my insurance check. I'm feeling pretty good, actually was able to stay awake through the day yesterday, the same today. I should be able to get through work with minimal issues. The only problem I forsee is not being able to watch all my TV shows!

Well, I'm all set to begin work on Monday. I stopped in today, turned in my release from the Doctor, sat with my boss, and straightened up my desk a bit. Everybody in my department is eager for me to return. I've been up since 6:00am. I'm trying to see if I can make it through the day without a nap. It's 2:00pm and I am tired. I still haven't gotten my insurance check for the month. I should get it by the 26th, that leaves a day. I really need that check, I race to the mail box every day. It'll be nice to get it, I'll be able to afford to live again! Getting back to work and having a regular income will be such a nice change from what I'm used to now. Tomorrow I have the appointment with the Orthopedic Doctor for my shoulder. It should be interesting. Hopefully, I'll get a massage out of this!

It was a good day today, I spent some time with my Mom and Dad, I got out of the apartment for a couple of hours. I am ready to get back to work, I find the days too long at times, and I don't feel productive. Keep in mind that I do like lounging, but too much of it can be a bad thing. Lately, I have been viewing my days as empty and endless. I'm ready to start getting back to a normal routine.

I want to take the time to thank everyone for their love and support as I plod through life right now. I am amazed to be standing where I am after six months of grueling chemotherapy. It has taken a toll on my body and my mind, yet, every day, I find myself pushing through. So many of you have been instrumental in getting me going. You all have seen me from my weakest to my worst and remained at my side, when I faltered, when I flourished. This has been a struggle for me, the toughest thing I have encountered. Every day I know I am getting better. Sometimes it's frustrating because I want to be feeling like I did that day at Indiana Dunes, before this began. I was flying high. I'll get back there in time. Thank you all, for caring so much.

The good news: there are no Hodgkins Lymphoma cells located in my body. I have been cleared and will not have to undergo any more chemotherapy. The indifferent news: I have been referred to a Radiologist and a Muscle/Skeletal specialist because two spots (including the original lymph node site) have questionable markings on the scans. I am being sent to them just to make sure that everything is okay. The bad news: I will be returning to work on 1/29/07 after a six month leave. That is going to be a tough one to get used to. I am so out of shape, have daily hot flashes, and tire easily. Facing a full time day is going to be a struggle. I have this week to rest up.

Watching the snow fall. I don't like it at all. I'm supposed to go to Borders with Brian and Ellen later this afternoon and the thought of driving in the snow terrifies me. But to have a good home cooked meal afterwards, I will travel. Unless plans change in the meantime. Yesterday I got out for a while, went over by Mom and Dads for lunch and a game of scrabble. It was a close one, everybody finshed within points of each other. I'm still bogged down by this cold that is hanging on. Otherwise I am doing okay. I didn't sleep too good last night, up for an hour, sleep an hour, up an hour. Hopefully tonight will be a good sleep. Tomorrow I find out the results of the scans.

Been a slow day here. I didn't do too much. Mostly been reading, finished one book, started another. I went for a walk this morning, went three blocks. It was too cold out. Brrrrr. My body isn't protesting anymore, most of the aches have subsided. I am being taken off medication as they run out, I am down to three pills a day, which will be done by the end of next week. I kind of miss the pain patch I wore, it really did alleviate the aches and pains. I think that's why I've been noticing them more the last couple of days. Now that treatment is over, the recovery process is beginning. It seemed like I would never get to this point, yet here I am. Day by day I am getting better. The naps help!

My body is telling me no more abuse. I feel it in every limb. I am going to rest today, soak in the tub. I don't have anything to do for the next several days and I plan on laying around and just rest up. As bad as that may sound, I feel pretty damn good. I have a sense of what normal feels like.

The scans went well, I'll know the results on Monday. Got to browse the shops at Mayfair, then lunch with Tim and Scott. It was really nice to have lunch with them! I must say the food was delicious. I had the factory meatloaf, mashed potatos, mixed veggies. So much food, I have leftovers. I got the banana cream cheesecake to go, haven't dug into it yet, going to be tonight's snack. I stopped at the clinic for a follow up to yesterday's check up. Blood pressure was 106/70 and my temperature 97.8. Normal readings. Good thing! I was concerned seeing how close I am to the end, don't want things to go haywire now. I am a little tired, but feeling pretty good. Hopefully whatever ailment I may have been developing is not able to take hold. I'm going to lay my head down and rest.

Early mornings are rough. This is going to take some getting used to. Unless I can work at 10:00am each morning! I have the scans today at 7:30am. I am starving, but can not eat until afterwards. By then, I'll be ravenous. I'll definitely be stopping by Starbucks. I am wrestling with a cold, it's trying to settle in and I do not want it to. Fluids, plenty of fluids. Rest too. I won't be able to do that until later today. It's hard when your couch is already calling your name. On the bright side, I do get to have lunch with Tim and Scott at the Cheesecake Factory. Mmmmmmm. Cheesecake.

I get to the clinic, check in, they draw my blood and send me to infusion for my check up. As I was sitting there, I started getting really warm. I noticed I wasn't feeling very well. The nurse stopped by, looked at me and said "Matt, you don't look too good, are you feeling okay?" I muttered I didn't feel well at all. She took my temperature 100.7, my blood pressure 65/50. Yikes. They started an IV on me, saline, administered hydrochortisone, and took more blood samples. My blood pressure was taken again 97/60, and my temperature was 98.3. I was directed to drink plenty of fluids, take tylenol, rest and stop in tomorrow after my scans for another check up. I noticed I am getting congested, probably a cold. I don't want to catch one at this point. Grrrrrr. My platelets have fallen to 54. Very low. I need to get back up to around 100.

I hate when I have late afternoon appointments. It seems like such a waste of a day. I want to lounge all day, not get moving at 2:00pm because of my check up. Afterwards, I am going to have dinner with Mom, Dad, and Mike. I'm looking forward to dinner. Tomorrow I have the CT and Pet scans early in the morning.

Must be the rush of adrenaline. I had to go clean off the Jeep and move it so the manager could plow the parking area. I needed gas, so I decided to drive up to the gas station. The roads are not properly plowed yet, I put the Jeep in 4X4 and had a blast! Slipping and sliding around turns, pushing through snow banks. Awesome! The Jeep's on the street, I'm waiting for the parking lot to be cleared so I can park and settle back onto the couch. My adventure for the day is over.

Good thing I don't have anything to do today, I wouldn't want to do it anyways. Perfect day to hibernate, stretch out on the couch, drift in and out of sleep, and the gameshow network blaring in the background. As perfect as that may be, I still hate winter.

I've been a non-stop eating machine. Good thing I stocked up on junk food. My favorite snack at the moment is the new "Hot Chocolate" Pop-Tarts. I could devour the entire box. I like the rainbow chip cookies too, the devil squares, dunkin sticks, oreos. I must be feeling better today. I am still worn out, but the aches are fading. I want cheesecake.

It's been a battle to stay awake the last 24 hours. If I was in an upright position, I could feel my eyes close and my neck begin to sag. I would catch a short 10-15 minute nap then try to stay awake. Went on all afternoon and night. Finally turned the lights out around 11:00pm. I am wide awake now. Going to run up to the store to get milk. I think I'll be hibernating a lot this weekend.

Ever so slowly the aches are creeping in and settling. Today, tomorrow, and the next day are going to be the days I will feel my worst. One last time, that's all I got to get through. I'm doing all right, getting by. Been sleeping on and off throughout the morning. I did manage to get a walk in earlier, hauled out the old microwave. I am going to do some reading and watch some TV in between naps.

Thursday has been a good day all around. I went to lunch with Christine, stopped by Mom and Dad's for a cordless drill, and hung a new string of lights in the kitchen. The intention was to hang coffee mugs. I didn't like the way it was turning out, so I got creative. I really like what I did. I must own power tools!!! I think I am obsessed. I have been noticing that my strength has been waning throughout the day. I am tired now. So the last spiral begins. I shall push through. This is nothing. Plus I get to nap! The hiccups have gone, haven't noticed any apparent aches yet, I'm sure they'll be appearing any moment now.

Off running for the day. Going to the doctor's office for Neulasta. Then I'm going to the bookstore and Starbucks. The hiccup's have returned promptly, so they are going with me!

Treatments are over. WOO HOO!!! Of course the doctor upped the dosage to 75% since my lab results were outstanding, according to Casey. All counts were normal, except platelets, which were up over 100 this time. Dad went with me today, it was nice having him there. As the last 10ml of poison were running through my veins, I sighed, and said "I'm all done". The nurse came to remove the IV and said "you're done!", which I replied "I'm done, done". I only have two check ups and the CT and Pet Scans left to go. Oh yeah, and a Neulasta shot for tomorrow. I had lunch with Mom and Dad afterwards. Good food! Chicken cordon bleu, peas and carrots, buttered noodles, creamed cucumbers. Time for me to lay my head down, the couch is calling me.

I'm anxious, excited, nervous, apprehensive. Didn't get much sleep last night, the mind racing.

I sat for a good two and a half hours at the social security office this morning applying for disability benefits. Under the general terms, I am ineligible. Since the insurance company requested I apply, I did anyways. Saturday night I went out with Jody to Potowatomi. I did good, more than doubled my money within 10 minutes of playing on the slots. I stopped playing after that. Stayed just over three hours. It was a late night. I enjoyed it! Sunday I slept in most of the morning. I went over to my Mom and Dad's in the afternoon. Pat and Toni were there, since they are in town for a funeral, plus Tim and Julia were there. I got the coolest Kellogg's/Disney toys from Toni. One of them is destined to be a collector's item since only 1000 were produced but never marketed, and I own the entire set! It was nice seeing every one, stayed and watched a movie, then had dinner before coming home for the night and curling up on the couch. Tonight I am going to Mom and Dad's again to have dinner with them and Michael. I need a good home cooked meal! Tomorrow is my 12th and final chemotherapy treatment. As much as I dread it, I am thrilled to be at the end of it. FINALLY.

Christmas decorations have been taken down and put into storage. I went for my daily walk. I'm doing all right. The spasms have faded through the day Friday. All test results came back normal. I must have aggrevated some muscles somewhere. Going to do some cleaning and vacuuming and lounge this afternoon. I'm starting to feel in control of me again. That's a good thing.

Just got back from a walk around the block. I need to start rebuilding my strength and stamina. I am going to go for a daily walk to start out. One block, then two, as my strength builds. I have walked for the last three days. I should have done this all along. I have a 10:30am appointment at the clinic. They are going to run some blood work to check phosphorous, calcium, electrolyte, and other levels that may be a cause to the muscle spasms. I have been using a heat massager on my back, shoulders, and arms, but the spasm remains. It's so bizarre. I wonder if I should go to the chiropracter and have an adjustment done. Hmmm . . . .

Last evening turned out to be my worst moment since this process began. I had a complete mental and emotional breakdown. Luckily my brother Tim called in the middle of my hysteria. He patiently listened through my ramblings. I have had a muscle spasm in my left bicep since Tuesday night. It is continuous. I have tried heat, massage, tub soaking, pain relievers. Nothing helps. The spasms keep me awake, and the moments I do fall asleep, a spasm jolts me awake. I have called the clinic to see what I can do. Today I am calm, actually feel pretty good, still have the spasms. It can be so maddening, frustrating, annoying sometime.

Slept horribly, tossed and turned all night, finally fell asleep around 5:00am. I am up because the phone rang, damn solicitors. I am going to unplug. I haven't been feeling all that well the last few days, mostly worn out, slightly achy. Late New Year's Day around 10:00pm I went driving about the neighborhood, looking at decorations. It made me feel better, it made me feel sad. Yesterday, I had my check up. Everything is fine, platelets low but holding. I walked four flights of stairs to see if I could do it. I just barely made it up the last flight. I am a wreck physically. All this is running through my head, while facing one more treatment. No wonder I didn't get any sleep. Thankfully America's Next Top Model Marathon is running on VH1. I have now seen seasons one, two, and three. God I need a life.

I was up at 12:00am, the new year arrived as expected. I spent the night watching TV and reading. It was a nice quiet evening. Usually on New Year's Day I go down to the lakefront to watch the Polar Bears jump in the lake. Jody called to invite me. As much as I want to go, I am staying home. I am extremely tired and weak today. It is a couch day. I did some dishes and have set up my new talking microwave "Esther". She speaks english and spanish. Having a talking microwave is awesome. Tomorrow I have my weekly check up and I have to go to the Social Security Office. My insurance company has recommended that I apply, I may be eligible for benefits. It's time for a nap.