The first day at work went well. Lots of people shaking my hand, hugging me, welcoming me back. My desk is decorated with TP and balloons, and a Sago Palm tree. The Radiation Oncologist has recommended I get 17 radiation treatments. The survival rate jumps from 85 to 95%. I didn't want to hear the news, almost devastating. I am researching on the Internet about radiation therapy and it's effects. Luckily, treatments won't begin until after I return from my trip to Disney.

This is me "Flying High". The picture was taken the last Sunday in April 2006 at Indiana Dunes National Park. Char, her kids Michelle and Kirsi, and I went on a last minute spring break trip overnight Saturday-Sunday. We got to spend three hours basking in the sun, frolicking in the sand before heading back to cold Wisconsin. This was one of the last times I felt normal. I have referred to this moment in the past. This picture captures the feeling. I have talked with Char about going back so I can jump the dunes once again.

I have a large Blood Clot in my right leg. Deep Vein Thrombosis is the technical/medical term. I have been experiencing bad pains in my right calf. It started Thursday/Friday. I thought I pulled a muscle. Over the weekend I tried to stay off my feet, took some pain medication, tried heat and ice packs. Sunday morning I cleared off my car, and the pain was intense. I went to change my pants and noticed my right calf was swollen, much larger than my left calf. I made calls to Ellen, the Oncology clinic, and my insurance. Everyone told me the same thing. Get to the Emergency room immediately. I called my dad, he went with me. I was in the ER for about 4 hours, an ultrasound showed I have a large blood clot in my right leg. I was admitted to the hospital overnight. I couldn't go to work yet. I have to give myself injections of Lovenox twice daily for the next 5 days, take Coumadin once daily, and follow up with my physician. I will be on blood thinners for a while. This is a common occurrance with patients receiving chemotherapy. The fun never ends.

Well, the insurance check arrived in the mail this morning! I can afford to live again. I did some laundry early, ran to the bank, and had lunch with Mom and Dad. I plan on lounging the rest of the day and tomorrow. I'm getting myself ready to get back into the swing of things. Slowly, things are coming back together.

I need to have an MRI done on my left shoulder because the Pet Scan shows a mass. The Doctor can not determine what it is using the scan. He checked out my shoulder and range of motion, which is fine. I am experiencing no pain so he recommended the MRI. It is not related to the Hodgkin's Lymphoma in any way. So, I am still in the grey, not sure what's going on, will follow the Doctor's recommendation. Right now, I'm not too concerned. I had lunch with Mom and Dad, Fish Fry from Jeff's. It was delicious. They were kind enough to borrow me some money to get groceries since I still haven't gotten my insurance check. I'm feeling pretty good, actually was able to stay awake through the day yesterday, the same today. I should be able to get through work with minimal issues. The only problem I forsee is not being able to watch all my TV shows!

Well, I'm all set to begin work on Monday. I stopped in today, turned in my release from the Doctor, sat with my boss, and straightened up my desk a bit. Everybody in my department is eager for me to return. I've been up since 6:00am. I'm trying to see if I can make it through the day without a nap. It's 2:00pm and I am tired. I still haven't gotten my insurance check for the month. I should get it by the 26th, that leaves a day. I really need that check, I race to the mail box every day. It'll be nice to get it, I'll be able to afford to live again! Getting back to work and having a regular income will be such a nice change from what I'm used to now. Tomorrow I have the appointment with the Orthopedic Doctor for my shoulder. It should be interesting. Hopefully, I'll get a massage out of this!

It was a good day today, I spent some time with my Mom and Dad, I got out of the apartment for a couple of hours. I am ready to get back to work, I find the days too long at times, and I don't feel productive. Keep in mind that I do like lounging, but too much of it can be a bad thing. Lately, I have been viewing my days as empty and endless. I'm ready to start getting back to a normal routine.

I want to take the time to thank everyone for their love and support as I plod through life right now. I am amazed to be standing where I am after six months of grueling chemotherapy. It has taken a toll on my body and my mind, yet, every day, I find myself pushing through. So many of you have been instrumental in getting me going. You all have seen me from my weakest to my worst and remained at my side, when I faltered, when I flourished. This has been a struggle for me, the toughest thing I have encountered. Every day I know I am getting better. Sometimes it's frustrating because I want to be feeling like I did that day at Indiana Dunes, before this began. I was flying high. I'll get back there in time. Thank you all, for caring so much.

The good news: there are no Hodgkins Lymphoma cells located in my body. I have been cleared and will not have to undergo any more chemotherapy. The indifferent news: I have been referred to a Radiologist and a Muscle/Skeletal specialist because two spots (including the original lymph node site) have questionable markings on the scans. I am being sent to them just to make sure that everything is okay. The bad news: I will be returning to work on 1/29/07 after a six month leave. That is going to be a tough one to get used to. I am so out of shape, have daily hot flashes, and tire easily. Facing a full time day is going to be a struggle. I have this week to rest up.

Watching the snow fall. I don't like it at all. I'm supposed to go to Borders with Brian and Ellen later this afternoon and the thought of driving in the snow terrifies me. But to have a good home cooked meal afterwards, I will travel. Unless plans change in the meantime. Yesterday I got out for a while, went over by Mom and Dads for lunch and a game of scrabble. It was a close one, everybody finshed within points of each other. I'm still bogged down by this cold that is hanging on. Otherwise I am doing okay. I didn't sleep too good last night, up for an hour, sleep an hour, up an hour. Hopefully tonight will be a good sleep. Tomorrow I find out the results of the scans.

Been a slow day here. I didn't do too much. Mostly been reading, finished one book, started another. I went for a walk this morning, went three blocks. It was too cold out. Brrrrr. My body isn't protesting anymore, most of the aches have subsided. I am being taken off medication as they run out, I am down to three pills a day, which will be done by the end of next week. I kind of miss the pain patch I wore, it really did alleviate the aches and pains. I think that's why I've been noticing them more the last couple of days. Now that treatment is over, the recovery process is beginning. It seemed like I would never get to this point, yet here I am. Day by day I am getting better. The naps help!

My body is telling me no more abuse. I feel it in every limb. I am going to rest today, soak in the tub. I don't have anything to do for the next several days and I plan on laying around and just rest up. As bad as that may sound, I feel pretty damn good. I have a sense of what normal feels like.

The scans went well, I'll know the results on Monday. Got to browse the shops at Mayfair, then lunch with Tim and Scott. It was really nice to have lunch with them! I must say the food was delicious. I had the factory meatloaf, mashed potatos, mixed veggies. So much food, I have leftovers. I got the banana cream cheesecake to go, haven't dug into it yet, going to be tonight's snack. I stopped at the clinic for a follow up to yesterday's check up. Blood pressure was 106/70 and my temperature 97.8. Normal readings. Good thing! I was concerned seeing how close I am to the end, don't want things to go haywire now. I am a little tired, but feeling pretty good. Hopefully whatever ailment I may have been developing is not able to take hold. I'm going to lay my head down and rest.

Early mornings are rough. This is going to take some getting used to. Unless I can work at 10:00am each morning! I have the scans today at 7:30am. I am starving, but can not eat until afterwards. By then, I'll be ravenous. I'll definitely be stopping by Starbucks. I am wrestling with a cold, it's trying to settle in and I do not want it to. Fluids, plenty of fluids. Rest too. I won't be able to do that until later today. It's hard when your couch is already calling your name. On the bright side, I do get to have lunch with Tim and Scott at the Cheesecake Factory. Mmmmmmm. Cheesecake.

I get to the clinic, check in, they draw my blood and send me to infusion for my check up. As I was sitting there, I started getting really warm. I noticed I wasn't feeling very well. The nurse stopped by, looked at me and said "Matt, you don't look too good, are you feeling okay?" I muttered I didn't feel well at all. She took my temperature 100.7, my blood pressure 65/50. Yikes. They started an IV on me, saline, administered hydrochortisone, and took more blood samples. My blood pressure was taken again 97/60, and my temperature was 98.3. I was directed to drink plenty of fluids, take tylenol, rest and stop in tomorrow after my scans for another check up. I noticed I am getting congested, probably a cold. I don't want to catch one at this point. Grrrrrr. My platelets have fallen to 54. Very low. I need to get back up to around 100.

I hate when I have late afternoon appointments. It seems like such a waste of a day. I want to lounge all day, not get moving at 2:00pm because of my check up. Afterwards, I am going to have dinner with Mom, Dad, and Mike. I'm looking forward to dinner. Tomorrow I have the CT and Pet scans early in the morning.

Must be the rush of adrenaline. I had to go clean off the Jeep and move it so the manager could plow the parking area. I needed gas, so I decided to drive up to the gas station. The roads are not properly plowed yet, I put the Jeep in 4X4 and had a blast! Slipping and sliding around turns, pushing through snow banks. Awesome! The Jeep's on the street, I'm waiting for the parking lot to be cleared so I can park and settle back onto the couch. My adventure for the day is over.

Good thing I don't have anything to do today, I wouldn't want to do it anyways. Perfect day to hibernate, stretch out on the couch, drift in and out of sleep, and the gameshow network blaring in the background. As perfect as that may be, I still hate winter.

I've been a non-stop eating machine. Good thing I stocked up on junk food. My favorite snack at the moment is the new "Hot Chocolate" Pop-Tarts. I could devour the entire box. I like the rainbow chip cookies too, the devil squares, dunkin sticks, oreos. I must be feeling better today. I am still worn out, but the aches are fading. I want cheesecake.

It's been a battle to stay awake the last 24 hours. If I was in an upright position, I could feel my eyes close and my neck begin to sag. I would catch a short 10-15 minute nap then try to stay awake. Went on all afternoon and night. Finally turned the lights out around 11:00pm. I am wide awake now. Going to run up to the store to get milk. I think I'll be hibernating a lot this weekend.