I can't begin to explain the range of emotions and thoughts rattling through me the last few days. No matter what people have been saying, I ride the roller coaster. Hearing that I may have cancer again disturbed my psyche. I feel like my body has been battered enough and the possibility of facing more treatments is unnerving. I have spent time researching reoccureance and what I have read has somehow calmed me. With each type of lymphoma, there are chances of reoccurence within the first year, and treatment is similar to the first time, and the success rate equal to the first. Until I know exactly what I am dealing with, I can prepare. Of course I want this to be an infection or something minor, but I must face that I could be in for another battle. Despite all this, I remain strong, even though I have moments of anger, sadness, crankiness.