Monday, December 08, 2008

Harsh Realities

The TV screen is flashing storm advisories, watches, and warnings. It is December and it is Wisconsin after all. It snows, like it or not. When I got home from work tonight, there was a message on the answering machine from Oncology Alliance to schedule my next CT and Pet scans. I have been feeling great, no issues, no problems as of late and I have not thought about cancer for the last couple of months. I put it behind me, moved on, lived life. It's been wonderful. Then the flashing red light on the machine brings it all back. While it is just a scheduled follow-up, it now brings doubts and fears and what ifs. It's always there, you just find a way to push it aside, pretend it isn't there, yet the reality is, it is there. The trick is to not let it encompass you, burden you, scare you. It's been nice not having to contend with doctors and needles and blood draws for a while. I'll have to enjoy the next month and face the reality of it on the day of my appointment.