Cooler By The Lake 8:10 PM

Jody and I went to Summerfest today. Free street parking and free entry to the Summerfest grounds. We made our way through the park, enjoying different music, food, and beverages. The weather behaved while we were there, alternating sun and warmth, and clouds and cool breezes. I had a really good time hanging out with Jody down by the lake for the day.

Dad's Birthday 6:22 PM

Happy Birthday Dad. Went over to visit, Scott, Bar, Erin stopped by, had brownies and vanilla ice cream to celebrate. Tim and Julia arrived a bit after that and we headed out to Applebee's for a late lunch. Back to Mom and Dad's for brownies and cinnamon ice cream for desert. Michael came over and a rousing game of scrabble ensued. I enjoyed the noise and the company and the day.

Sun, Coffee, And Words 5:55 PM

The sun was just rising when I got up this morning. I showered, got dressed, went out for an early morning walk along the lake. Returned home, had a light breakfast, then read for a couple of hours. Headed over to the Fixx for a mocha latte and conversation with Jan. We sat and talked for over three hours. Did a little running around after that, then back home, been reading and watching TV. I started a book yesterday, and am close to finishing it, should be done sometime this evening. It's so easy to get lost in a good book.

Burgers And Ice Cream 8:21 PM

Summer days, hot, humid. I love it. Perfect for going to Night Owl for a cheeseburger with fried onions and a chocolate malt and heading to the lakefront.

Innocent 6:11 PM

Life is so dull
filled with white and black
finding a thrill
staring at the wall

Sitting in your new chair
you're going to be there awhile
you deserve a better life
I deserve a better life

tell me

what's going on in here

Innocent, I'm innocent, Innocent

(Copywritten 1986, To Fall Music MG/SR)

Back In Wisconsin 6:17 AM

Woke up this morning and for a moment I didn't recognize where I was! Then it came to me. No Palm trees out the window. Sigh. Heat and humidity though, which is nice. I had an experience while in Florida. So much to think about now. I could live there, no doubt. The question is do I go live there? This is where it gets difficult for me. As much as I want to (and I do want to), there are things here that I find just as appealling (though not the cold and snow). Some divine guidance would be nice. For now, I will take all things into consideration and see what goes. Thank you Mom and Dad for all your support and understanding!

Florida Edition 9:18 AM

It has been an incredible journey. The weather phenomenal, yesterday's high of 100 degrees broke a record set back in the 1940s. The beaches and ocean are beautiful, the city itself is nice, easy to manuever. I am prepared for the trip north.

Florida Edition 8:12 AM

Miami was busy, noisy, crowded, and a lot of fun. The Art Deco district and South Beach were crammed with people. Walked Lincoln Road, filled with shops, restaurants. Today, going to a street fair, tomorrow, the River Walk downtown. The weather is hot and humid, with mid-afternoon storms, typical Florida weather. Did I say I like it here?

Florida Edition 4:26 PM

Ventured around the vicinity, noting companies today. Stopped and browsed shops, had lunch, even got my haircut. Tonight, I am going out for dinner with Jeff, then to a movie in the park. Tomorrow it's Miami and South Beach!

Florida Edition 3:59 PM

I've been finding my way around the city, know how to get downtown and to the beach. Found a McDonald's with free Wi-Fi so each morning I go there for coffee and search the web. I really could live here, just need to find that job.

Florida Edition 5:35 AM

I spent the day exploring, getting to know the streets, the city, the rental car. Enjoyed the discoveries, the hot weather, the afternoon rainstorms. I really like it here!

Delayed 6:53 AM

No plane on ground in Milwaukee to take me until 1:07pm. That's a long time from the original 6:10am departure. I'll head back to the airport in five hours...

Eight Days 3:14 PM

so the song goes . . .

my bags are packed, I'm ready to go . . .

leaving on a jet plane . . .

Haunted 9:03 PM

Spent the day sorting through things to pack for the trip to Florida. I want to make sure I have something to wear for any ocassion that may present itself. This isn't just a vacation, so I can't just take flip flops and a swim suit! I wrestled with my concious over packing socks. Tonight on TV, I watched Haunted Mansion, based on the awesome ride at Disney World. I find it entertaining (the movie), find the ride even moreso. It got me thinking, maybe I need to make a day of it and head over to the Magic Kingdom while in Florida. Oh yeah, it's not a vacation. It's awfully tempting though!

The Blood That Moves The Body 5:42 PM

Yesterday, at the Oncologist, I was expecting to hear that everything is going fine, no issues, come back in six months. Well, that didn't happen. This time instead of having low levels, I had elevated ones instead. Additional blood work done shows no real problems relating to lymphoma. Thankfully. Now I can head down to Florida with a clear mind and focus on eight days to change my life. I had a 3 card Tarot reading about my personal journey and the results were rather surprising.

Context - Ace of Swords: Your mind will become sharp and clear. It will be ready to accept new challenges and you will be ready to discuss these new opportunites with others to make the best out of what presents itself.
Focus - Priestess 2: The Priestess represents your dreams. They are sending you a message. You should focus, maybe, on a repetitive dream for the answer. This is our innermost voice attempting to help us out with its wisdom.
Outcome - Devil 15: The Devils card symbolizes some negative place. You are in some sort of uncomfortable situation that you need to free yourself of. It may represent bad habits that need to be dropped such as greed, being blind to truths, etc. It urges a cleansing of the negative karma.

Read into it what you will, but I think it is rather compelling.

One Of My Favorites 6:36 PM

I always laugh my ass off (LMAO) anytime I catch Family Guy on TV. It's shown twice daily locally and numerous times nightly on cable, so anytime I need a laugh, I can tune into the adventures of Peter Griffin, a bumbling, but well-intentioned, blue-collar worker. Peter is an Irish American Catholic with a prominent Rhode Island/Eastern Massachusetts accent. His wife Lois is a stay-at-home mother and piano teacher, and has a distinct New England accent from being a member of the Pewterschmidt family of wealthy socialites. Peter and Lois have three children: Meg, their teenage daughter, who is frequently the butt of Peter's jokes due to her homeliness and lack of popularity; Chris, their teenage son, who is overweight, unintelligent and, in many respects, a younger version of his father; and Stewie, their diabolical infant son of ambiguous sexual orientation who has adult mannerisms and speaks fluently with what some consider an upper-class affected English accent and stereotypical archvillain phrases.[6] Living with the family is Brian, the family dog, who is highly anthropomorphized, walks on two legs, drinks Martinis, smokes cigarettes and engages in human conversation, though he is still considered a pet in many respects.

Many recurring characters appear alongside the Griffin family. These include the family's colorful neighbors: sex-crazed airline-pilot bachelor Glenn Quagmire; mild-mannered deli owner Cleveland Brown and his wife (ex-wife as of the fourth-season episode "The Cleveland–Loretta Quagmire") Loretta Brown with their hyperactive son, Cleveland Jr.; paraplegic police officer Joe Swanson, his wife Bonnie and their baby daughter Susie; paranoid Jewish pharmacist Mort Goldman, his wife Muriel Goldman and their geeky and annoying son Neil; and elderly homosexual ephebophile Herbert. TV news anchors Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons, reporter Tricia Takanawa and Blaccu-Weather meteorologist Ollie Williams also make frequent appearances. The possibly deranged and ethically challenged Mayor Adam West (voiced by and named after the real Adam West) rounds out the recurring cast.

Thanks Wikipedia for the outline and Seth McFarlane for creating such an out of control, hilarious, highly entertaining TV show. Today I needed to laugh.

All Systems Go 7:53 PM

In days I will be setting out on a journey, one I have dubbed eight days to change my life. I have started to gather things together for the trip, downloaded the GPS Navigator program on my cell phone for when I motor through Florida, I just may have an idea of where I'm going. While I will be driving a rental, the Jeep had a minor issue that concerned me for a bit but turned out to be a loose heat protector that made a lot of noise. Doctor appointments have been encouraging and good. I have found my inner spark after a long dark period and have now stopped blaming myself solely for things that have transpired over the course of time, recognizing those involved have their own "issues" that have nothing to do with me. Going through the cycle of renewal.

Certainty 5:52 PM

This one's for you.

Uncertainty 8:18 PM

Today I admitted to someone other than myself my insecurities, doubts, and the tumultuous self destructive journey I have been on. Opening up and letting my fears, faults, and troubles out seems trivial to hear, but sparked a realization in me that hasn't been there for quite some time. What has plaqued me and kept me spiralling for months now has been the fact that I lost my faith in things around me. Trust, decency, respect. I have been beating myself up because I lost those aspects around me and have become wrapped up in finding it around me. I am flawed, and been asking for forgiveness and understanding, but never had I done that for myself. In speaking about my issue, I realized that the faith in myself is still present, not lost, as I perceived it to be. That being said, I still have plenty to comprehend within myself and work to stand again. I've made mistakes, none out of malice or spite, so I am not the monster I have come to believe I must be. I still ache from things that have happened, but in time I will know how I will live with those scars.

Playing In The Yard 5:39 PM

The dogs were barking wildly, so I went to see what the commotion was. Scout and Gem were toying with an injured bird. I got the cats into the barn, tempting them with treats. The bird is alive, in shock, but hopefully it will recover.

Outside 6:32 PM

Out here, you hear the birds, horses, cows, coyotes. I'm used to hearing cars, airplanes, neighbors.

I'm Going To Vegas!!! 9:15 AM

Well, not really, just going to be house sitting while Scott and Barb go to Vegas. Four days with Baxter, Dory, Scout, and Gem. Four days of pretending to be a homeowner! Four days to soak in the hot tub! I'll be going mobile. So there will be a post or two from the cell phone! Ahh technology! Ahh hot tub!

Reflection 11:31 AM

I wrote this back in 2002 for whatever reason. I've posted it here once. I read it and it got me thinking about things.

I couldn’t help but stare at myself in the mirror. Happiness. Anger. Fear. Weariness. Innocence. Loathing. Humility. Frustration. Temptation. Failure. Many were well represented. I almost didn’t recognize myself even though I know myself. I saw things etched there that no longer mattered, affect me throughout, things that haven’t taken there toll yet. I saw too much. I was still that timid little boy awed by the world around me. If I looked hard at myself I could catch a glimpse of him staring back at me in awe and wonder. How one could be marked and weathered and aged.

I have been thinking.

Thinking about what I want to do, where I want to go, what I want to change. I've been thinking about people who have come into my life, thinking about people who have gone too. Thinking how people effect and change a person (me) as I make my way, trying to find the balance, the harmony, the things that make me who I am, the things I am capable of, being witty, enthusiastic, popular, intelligent, gifted, vibrant, magnanimous, charismatic, principled, self-sufficient, compelling, sentimental, accomplished, noble, healthy and work on being less bombastic, dissatisfied, ruthless, demanding, opinionated, mawkish, egocentric, defensive, foolhardy, willful.

I have been thinking.

thinking how nice it would be to have Char call me up and say hey let's go shout out suggestions for the actors at the next Comedy Sportz show, or to have Brian call me and say let's go over to the bookstore and browse the shelves, Doug to call me up and say we need to get down to Six Flags and ride the Raging Bull a few times, Kim to call and say let's go rent some movies and sit up all night talking.

Thinking about how things were, when did things change? Enough is enough. You have caused too many problems. You have crossed the line. You have taken advantage of things for the last time. Is that who you see me as? I am not that person. I have been thinking that.

I have been thinking about how Mom calls and says you want to play a game of scrabble and order a pizza?, about Tim and Julia calling and saying we need to get down to the Outlet Mall in Kenosha, or Jody calling and saying "Cha-Ching", Pat calling from Michigan and saying I was just thinking about you, thought I'd give you a call, Christine calling and saying it's all about the Big Mac.

I have been thinking about the people in my life, the people I wanted in my life, the ones who make a difference, the ones I could talk to about anything and everything. Focusing on what made the world a little better, brighter.

I reflect upon the good times, the not so good times and think of the people who get me through it all.

Late Night Scrabble Games 7:01 PM

Since I have time (too much) on my hands and mind, I stay up late into the wee morning hours playing Scrabble online. I've been playing for weeks now, one on one with people from around the world. I mostly have been playing against two people, Scott from Fort Lauderdale and Shane from South Bend, game after game. We chat, play words, sometimes help each other, sometimes badger each other. I look forward to these tournaments throught the week. Sometimes a game stretches over a number of days, playing when we can. Sometimes it's a marathon, two or three games in a night. When that occurs, the next day is pretty much wasted, I am burnt out and exhausted!