I've been stating all along that the reality of it all hasn't sunk in yet. I believe I was wrong, that it has been there from the very beginning. It floats into my conciousness at any given moment, sometimes I dwell on it, sometimes it's fleeting. Even when I'm feeling good, it's there. Today I just want it to be over and done with, so I can return to a normal routine, a normal life. My mind is fixated on what the results of the scans are going to show. I want to hear the words "In Remission" tomorrow. Badly. There is a lingering fatigue that I can't shake now, it's always present. It is a residual effect from the chemotherapy. When I'm feeling good, I'm still tired, sometimes worn out. Today I'm really noticing it. My day will be spent lying on the couch, in and out of sleep.