Just For The Record 8:25 AM

I couldn’t help but stare at myself in the mirror. Happiness. Anger. Fear. Weariness. Innocence. Loathing. Humility. Frustration. Temptation. Failure. Joy. Many were well represented. I almost didn’t recognize myself even though I know myself. I saw things etched there that no longer mattered, affected me throughout, things that haven’t taken their toll yet. I saw too much. I was still that timid little boy awed by the world around me. If I looked hard at myself I could catch a glimpse of him staring back at me in wonder and surprise. How one could be marked and weathered and aged. It's My Birthday.
Hooray!!!!

One More Brick 8:50 PM

After a long day of work, the retaining wall in Doug's backyard is near completion. Only the capstones need to be installed. Then a smaller wall needs to be built. We got the fence post in and will have the new section done. The work has been hard, but it has been rewarding too. Now I can unwind, relax, and sleep.

No One Said Life Was All Fun And Games 5:37 PM

After more blood work and a visit to the oncologist, I still do not know what exactly is going on with my body. There is no indication of lymphoma in my system, but still having symptoms. The hematologist wants to run a number of tests to try to figure it out. I guess I'll be a pin cushion in the mean time until I and the doctors know why I have fevers and night sweats.

Instead of working on the yard, Doug and I went to the State Fair last night. I completely enjoyed wandering about the fair grounds, taking in the music, the sights, and eating fried foods. Tonight I'm lounging, watching TV, relaxing. We plan on putting in a long day of work tomorrow, can't keep putting it off to have fun. We'll see how far we get.

When One Door Closes . . . 9:23 PM

The new one Doug and I installed opens. One project done. We'll build more of the wall this weekend. Tonight we grabbed some burgers, then removed the old door and replaced it with a brand new one. It was hard work, he did most of it, I was there as an extra set of hands. Seneca, his dog is a good little supervisor. 9:00pm and she lets it be known that it's time for me to go home. It's quite funny how she starts pushing me towards the door, then jumps up on Doug, so he'll pick her up so she can say goodbye. She's quite the character. On the way home, I drove past and under fireworks along Lake Drive in St. Francis. A celebration of a job well done maybe?

Booked Up 7:19 PM

I just finished reading a novel about vampires. I'm going to start one about the UFO incident at Roswell. I have several others stacked up to read once I finish that one. There are times when I don't have anything to read and am searching for something, so I pick up an old favorite, then there are times when I have plenty to read. I have enough to get me through the next couple of weeks, but there are a number of books being released in the meantime that I must read. I'm going to be buried in words for the time being. Life is good.

Playing Fair 7:18 PM

Char and I got an early start on the day and went to the State Fair. It was hot and gritty and I had a great time. We haven't been able to get together much lately and it was nice to get the chance to spend the day with her. Had a lot of adventures and misadventures with her, all funny, odd, and enjoyable. I am worn out and think it's going to be an early bed time tonight. Yesterday I got out shopping, bought a few books, groceries. Tomorrow it's back to work, have a doctor's appointment on Thursday, and I'm sure I'll be doing more manual labor on Doug's backyard. Oh yeah, and my birthday is coming up too. I hear the couch calling, so I'm outta here.

It's Hot In Here 8:38 PM

Now it feels like summer. Days of heat and humidity and 99+ body temperatures. Yes I still am having fevers, night sweats. Had blood drawn, for my upcoming follow up doctor's appointment. Since there's no sign of lymphoma, I wonder what could be up, but I deal with it. When I'm busy, I don't notice it. Going to be a lounging weekend, not much planned, going to see what comes along, and enjoy the weekend.

Always Room For Improvements 9:36 PM

Went to Home Depot, Hobo, Lowe's for more supplies, going to replace the back door, reconfigure the fence, besides doing the retaining wall and landscaping at Doug's. I offered my help and he sure is taking me up on that offer. On the way back, driving down Layton Ave past the airport, we noticed flashing lights and TV crews, wondered what was happening, pulled into the observation lot and watched as Senator John McCain's airplane landed. That was kind of cool to see.

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes 6:31 PM

and pollen, and dander, and ragweed, and whatever I am now allergic to. My eyes are red, itchy, burning, feel like I'm being stabbed, irritated. I couldn't even put in my contacts this morning. I took some allergy medicine, which helped a little, bought an eye irrigation solution, and drops, which seem to help greatly. Most of the morning my eyes watered every five minutes or so it seemed. I've developed a number of allergies lately. Some to candles that I used to burn, some to cleaning supplies, Febreeze, laundry detergent. The body is a wondrous thing!

Tear Down The Wall, Build Up The Wall 8:48 PM

Once we started on the wall, we realized we had to reconfigure one corner, so we tore part of it out and reconstructed it. That took a good amount of time so we only got one additional layer added to the entire wall today. Luckily, there is no rush to get it completed and we want to do it properly, so I didn't mind starting over. The wall looks much better now and we seem to have gotten the hang of laying brick so it should go much smoother as we progress. I am enjoying the whole process, the feeling of accomplishment, and the hard work involved.

Break By Break 8:30 PM

Doug and I have knocked off for the day. It was definitely hard work, but the retaining wall is taking shape. We had to stop to get a wheelbarrow, more leveling sand, and need to pick up a masonry saw to cut bricks in half. We're going to pick up again tomorrow, but not until after we get to German Fest for a couple of hours. It's going to take a bit longer than anticipated, but it'll get finished in the next couple of days. We took plenty of breaks, kept ourselves hydrated and fed, and worked a good number of hours. I am beat, exhilarated, but tired. I will sleep good tonight.

Brick By Brick 9:44 AM

Last night, a trip to Lowe's, Menard's, and Hobo (plus a stop at Culver's too), and everything is set for building the retaining wall. The brick is being delivered this morning, then the work shall begin. I will be toiling today, tomorrow. Depending on how far we get, it should be completed this weekend. I want to fit in a run down to German Fest at some point too, but the yard work takes precedent over anything else this weekend.

Under Construction 8:36 PM

I am going to be helping build a retaining wall and doing some landscaping in the next couple of weeks as part of Doug's patio project. Been going to different home improvement stores, checking out materials and tools, getting ideas, preparing for the work ahead. It's very educational to be involved in the process. I'm actually looking forward to the physical labor too. Living in an apartment I do not have this opportunity often, so getting a chance to do something constructive is rather intriguing to me. Of course I like the stopping to eat part of it as well, tonight it was Gyros. When it's all done, I'll be able to enjoy my labors by sitting on the patio with a cold beer and food from the grill. That's a few weeks off though.

News To Me 8:11 PM

I spoke with the oncologist and there is no sign of lymphoma in my marrow. He believes that I am anemic and wants to monitor my blood for the next few weeks. He explained that my body has trouble producing blood cells properly and I will probably contend with this on a reoccurring basis. Trust me when I tell you that I am relieved. The thought of facing cancer once again was unnerving.

Deflated 7:32 PM

I attempted to go on a bike ride tonight. The back tire needed air, so I walked back up to the apartment, grabbed my tire pump and headed back to the basement. Much to my chagrin, the nozzle does not fit the tire valve. I tried a few times and decided that it wasn't going to happen tonight. I will have to take the bike over to the gas station and fill the tire up. I hadn't planned on this, so my bike ride has been delayed. Now that I know what I have to do prior to getting on my bike, I can plan accordingly. So I'm off to the couch instead to do some reading.

No News Is Good News, Right? 5:21 PM

I had an extremely nice, restful, busy weekend. It kept me distracted from the persistent fevers. If I'm active, I don't notice them. I had reached the 100.6 degree mark, but wonder if it was because of the humidity, being overheated. Mostly they are in the 99.1 range. I have not gotten the results back from the last set of blood tests and the marrow biopsy. I don't know what to expect seeing how every other test has come back fine, yet I'm still experiencing the fevers and night sweats. I'll just have to wait and see and keep myself active and distracted. Since I feel fine despite the internal combustion, I see no problems keeping busy.

Dark Nights and Rainy Days 12:34 PM

I went to see the new Batman movie last evening with Doug. It was a very good movie. Long though, over two and a half hours. I got home about 10:45pm, realized I couldn't find my wallet. A frantic call to Doug, a check on his couch and in his vehicle and it was found. I had to drive back over to pick it up and head home again. This morning I got my haircut and spent some time hanging out with Kim at the salon. If it ever stops raining, I just might get down to Festa Italiana. Otherwise, I'll just lounge on the couch, read and watch TV. Weekends are meant to be lazy days.

*Crystal Cathedral 6:13 PM

After a couple of days of running around to hardware stores, book stores, sub shops, burger joints, pet shops and of course a stop for ice cream, I am lounging for the evening. It's been hot out, enjoying the heat and summer, enjoying the coolness of the fans and fit of the couch too. I'll run more again this weekend. Feeling good, still encountering low grade fevers, waiting for results from the marrow biopsy. Not much else going on, just hanging out, reading, doing puzzles, watching TV.

*Homage to one of the best Simpson's episodes produced to date

Just As Expected 2:38 PM

Everything went fine. Had the blood tests, all counts normal, an EKG, normal, temperature 98.4, blood pressure 102/68, weight is down since last week. I slept through the bone marrow biopsy, awoke shortly afterward, good vitals, then home. Now to wait for the results.

This Is A Test 6:44 AM

I'm up now. Going to spend the morning getting ready for the blood work and bone marrow biopsy. I have to be at the hospital at 10:00am. I have been fasting since 10:00pm. Late last night I read some old posts from last July and August to see how I managed these tests back then and I discovered that I had all the same symptoms before being diagnosed with anemia. I had the fevers, the night sweats, the muscle cramping, the head aches, the tiredness. I find it interesting. Maybe that could be what's going on with my body. We'll have to see what the doctor says.

A Bugs Life (and Impending Death) 4:22 PM

On the morning walk, Judy and I noticed something blowing across the pavement. I approached it and saw that it was a huge moth with a wingspan about 12 inches if not bigger. It was injured and lay dying, being carried on the wind. We thought of putting it out of it's obvious misery, but there was something beautiful about it that neither one of us could kill it. The moth fought valiantly to recover but whatever injury it had, the moth could not overcome. I have never seen a moth this size before so I snapped a picture of it on my cell phone. It was being carried away by the wind as we continued our walk.

My Surroundings 10:25 AM

I'm getting out and discovering the areas around my neighborhood this weekend, which happens to be part of the old stomping grounds. Friday night I went to the south shore frolics for a fish fry, then a walk through Bay View for ice cream. Today I'm going to watch the frolics parade and see what else the locale has to keep me entertained.

Five Flags 4:08 PM

It was a late night yesterday. Went to Six Flags Great America for Coasters After Dark from 10:00pm to Midnight. In between the storms here and in Gurnee, Doug and I got to jump on our favorite roller coasters. While on Superman, I lost my keys. Fortunately, Mom and Dad keep a spare set so I didn't have to worry about getting into my apartment or driving the Jeep. The ground crew located my keys and they are being mailed back to me. As soon as we left the park, it started raining again. I had about four hours sleep before I had to get moving for work. I'm ragged around the edges, but nothing a nap or sleeping in won't take care of.

Saving The Tree Frogs 5:42 PM

Over the last few days, there has been a swarm of tiny tree frogs frantically hopping the streets of the industrial park near work. I noticed them on the walk this morning, after Christine had mentioned them the other day. There is a creek running past the building and adjacent lots. For some reason, the frogs are leaving the marshy wooded area and end up in the roadway and can not get up the curbs. They then are drying up and dying. They are tiny. So today when I was walking, I noticed a number of them attempting to jump up the curb. I assisted a number of them get back onto the grassy area. It was a nice diversion, made the walk interesting this morning. I washed my hands once I got back to work.

Clean and Clear 3:47 PM

The latest scans have come back clean, clear. No sign of lymphoma. I am surprised, but glad to have gotten good scans. The oncologist is talking to the hematologist to decide how to proceed since I am still symptomatic. I wasn't anticipating these results but will take them without hesitation. It is relieving, yet puzzling. Why is my body going through this? I'll wait to see what the next step is. And yes, I am smiling about the outcome.

Down Time 8:02 PM

After three days of running, my body let me know it wanted time to rest. Just hanging out, lounging on the couch. Been reading, doing puzzles, watching TV. Got my laundry done and took a long nap earlier. It's nice to be able to take a day to myself now and then. I didn't notice any fever the last couple of days, but I was busy having fun. Tonight I notice it, so it's still there. As I stated, it is not going to stop me from enjoying the Summer. Tomorrow I plan on running around again, so today is my day on the couch.

Let The Celebration Begin 8:33 AM

it already has . . . the fireworks were incredible, one of the best displays I have seen. The temperature was cool, and I was wearing shorts, so I ended up wrapping a blanket around me. I did share it with Kim though. The fireworks were being shot off from four different locations, so it seemed like there were fireworks everywhere you looked. Now I'm all set to head out to Kim's to go watch the Waukesha parade, then back to her house for food, sun, swimming, and more fireworks. Enjoy the Holiday!

070306 Now 4:21 PM

I found out that I had Hodgkin's two years ago. That night I went to the fireworks down by the lakefront as a defiant act, I wasn't going to let it stop me. Last year I went to the fireworks as a courageous act, having gotten through months of chemotherapy, radiation, transfusions, and a blood clot. Tonight I will go both defiantly and bravely, It's been one hell of a Summer and I want to keep it going, no matter what. I have lots to celebrate, all my family and friends are the best. And how I enjoy fireworks!!!

Out In The Rain 4:12 PM

Despite all that I'm going through, I'm still running around. Tonight I am meeting Jody and heading to Summerfest for music, food, and people watching. Of course the weather is spotty, but that's not going to stop us from enjoying the festivities.

Office Visit 7:09 PM

Getting CT and PET Scans is always interesting. First, there's the visit to the blood lab, several vials of blood drawn. Then you get put into a small room, with a recliner and warmed blankets. You drink lemon flavored contrast materials and are given the radioactive dye. You rest for about 45 minutes to let everything circulate through your system, then off to the scans. They take about 45 minutes to complete. You have to fast for 12 hours prior, so by the time the scans are done, I am starving. Tim and I went to Steak-N-Shake to eat, then I headed home to rest, the materials always make me feel blah. I'm rested and beginning the nightly fever. I will find out the results of the scans next week. Until then, I'll just get through the symptoms as they come.

Another Bout 7:51 PM

I started writing this blog as a way to document how I got through treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I also wrote it to let people know how I was doing through treatment. Since then, I have been providing a glimpse of just what I'm about, a little insight into my life, who I am.

Over the past number of weeks, I have been experiencing a number of symptoms that are identical to the ones I had prior to my first diagnosis. Persistent low grade fevers of 99+, infrequently at first, to nightly, beginning around dusk and lasting an hour or more before finally breaking. I've noticed several swollen lymph nodes recently. There is a slight lingering fatigue, and I have lost weight again. I have contacted my oncologist, have had blood tests run, nothing conclusive, so now I will have scans run again. I need to get checked out again. I do not know what the outcome will be, but hoping that my body is just readjusting, not relapsing. All indications lead me to believe I am in for another go round, but I would like nothing better than to have something minor.

Whatever it may be, I will deal with it. With all that I've faced in the last few years, I've learned I can handle pretty much anything. You'll be reading about things as they unfold.

Cool Down 4:27 PM

The morning started out sunny, comfortable. By lunch the clouds rolled in and it's been raining and cool. I read most of the morning, watching another ANTM marathon on cable. Got together with Doug for a late lunch and some quick shopping. It's been a leisure weekend, which is good, because this next week is going to be busy, both at work and home, plenty of running to distract me and capture my attention.

Happy Birthday Dad 7:06 PM

Started the day out early, going to the casino with Mom and Dad. Spent a few hours playing the slots, winning, losing, winning, losing. Coffee and breakfast, then over to Mom and Dad's where I attempted to win at a game of scrabble. It was a battle, ultimately mom won out. I completely enjoy playing that game. Grabbed some food and now I'm settling on the couch for TV and reading. A great way to spend Dad's birthday! Hope you enjoy your day Dad!

There and Gone 3:44 PM

Saw the walking man today at lunch, sitting at the same table, highlighting passages in his bible. I ordered my food, got my soda and napkins, went to sit down and he was gone. Saw the fireworks last night, they were good, over too fast. They started so late, didn't get home until 11:30pm, found it hard to get to sleep. When I woke up this morning, it felt like I had just gone to bed. Going out to dinner and a movie tonight, I'll catch up with my sleep at some point.

Agitated 6:08 PM

Doing laundry, catching up on reading, day dreaming. Work is still busy, no time to think about things, just crank out quote after quote. While it's nice to have work to do, it's still kind of frantic when you are trying to please all the bosses at once. It's hard to get things accomplished when they are hovering over your desk. I'm a good worker and will get things done in a timely manner. I'm glad the day flew by, looks like tomorrow will be more of the same. Luckily, I can go watch some fireworks tomorrow night. I guess I'll have to have some ice cream tonight.

Busy 8:31 PM

Monday started off incredibly busy at work, stayed busy the entire day. As I was leaving, more work was piling up on my desk. I'm going to be busy all week. After work, I came home, changed clothes, read some, then headed out to meet Doug for dinner. Made a few stops afterward, ending the evening at Coldstone for ice cream. It was busy there too.

Please Stand By 5:29 PM

I have no idea what I did, but I knocked my TV out of service early this morning. I chalked it up as cable problems. Went about my day, out to Scout Lake, got caught in a down pour, stopped and bought brats for dinner, then came home to a broken TV. I jiggled connections, pushed control buttons and nothing but static. I didn't notice that the TV was set on channel 2 instead of channel 3. It took me a while to figure out the issue. Now I am content and going to celebrate by watching some of my favorite shows for the evening.

Lounging Poolside 11:53 AM

It's such a nice day out, I'm going to go meet Kim and hang out at her house, up on the pool deck and enjoy the beginning of summer. Ran out to the stores earlier and spent some money, so now it's time to kick back and relax.

Animals At Night 9:46 PM

Went to the zoo tonight. The animals were very active, got to see them in action instead of sleeping. The lions were playing, running, pouncing; the bears watching the elks eat. The best moment was seeing the wolves roaming their habitat. One of the zookeepers called out to them and the five came out of hiding. It was amazing to see them up close, behaving like pets. All the animals were on the prowl tonight.

What Is Her Name? 7:53 PM

Recently I was standing in line to get some food when this woman came up to me and told me she was just thinking about me, needed a good laugh, and thought of the time we played dead at the office. I recognized her from a previous job, over ten years ago, and remembered exactly what she was talking about. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember her name. As she was talking, I was busy trying to recall her name. She said thanks for the memory, wished me well, and walked away. I spent the rest of the evening trying to figure out her name. In the middle of a conversation later that evening, I blurted it out loud and clear. It made me feel good that I affected someone in such a way that they remembered me, and made me feel bad that I couldn't put a name to the face until it was too late.

Battery 7:54 PM

Lately my cell phone has been acting up. Ringtones go off, I think I'm getting a call, there's not one. Some calls don't ring, messages come through hours after being received. I believe it has to do with the battery. It's the same one I've had since I got the phone three years ago. It doesn't seem to hold a charge for long. If I use the phone, it drains the power within minutes of use. I suppose I should get a new battery or upgrade the phone, but I like my phone, and I am lazy, don't want to deal with, salesmen or contracts. Eventually I will do something, once I become annoyed.

Walking For Miles 7:07 PM

Last night, I walked through the amusement park, got on all the coasters in two hours. It was a great night for roller coaster riding. Went for a long walk this morning, then walked around the zoo for a few hours, walked the aisles at Target, then dinner and ice cream. Now Monsters Inc is on, going to settle in, watch the movie, read some, then to bed. My feet need their rest.

Four Flags 5:30 PM

Heading down to Six Flags Great America tonight for Coasters After Dark. The park is open until 11:00pm for season pass holders, so Raging Bull, Vertical Velocity, Superman, Eagle, Viper are part of the agenda. Whether we get them all in tonight or not, we can always go back another time.

I'm still laughing about yesterday's dental visit. I had the mad Russian dentist coming at me with medieval tools, the assistant with a speech impediment telling me to relax, tornado sirens going off and me drooling uncontrollably, thinking just pull my damn tooth already, while kids watched through the window as it stormed outside. No wonder I feel my life is a sitcom, complete with a laugh track.

Open Wide 6:06 PM

It is a very unstable night, weather warnings all around. I was at the dentist this afternoon as tornado sirens sounded. I was snacking on some trail mix last night, bit down and my back lower molar broke. I had the rest of it pulled this afternoon. My face is still numb, but I'm starting to feel some discomfort. The X-rays showed I have a fifth wisdom tooth also. Had them removed a while back, so I was surprised there's one still there. This is the beginning of numerous dental visits to restore my smile, two crowns, refillings, and bridgework, plus whitening, maybe even straightening too. We'll see how adventurous I get. Today was food day at work, oodles and oodles of noodles, spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, cheesecake, a nice hearty lunch. I have been glued to the TV watching the weather updates. Seems it's going to be a stormy night. I'm back to the TV set and the couch.

On Their Dime 9:24 PM

I met Jody down at the casino tonight for dinner and slots. I received a $5 cash play in the mail, so I took it along. I put the $5 into King Kong Cash nickel machine, got the bonus screen, and cashed out at $36. I was done gambling for the evening. Didn't spend any of my own money, how nice is that?

Three Flags 7:34 PM

In-between the rain, I managed to get on some roller coasters today. Doug and I headed out early, got to Six Flags shortly after the park opened and immediately headed for the new Batman ride, The Dark Knight. After a short delay, the ride opened and we got on within 10 minutes. I was disappointed. It wasn't what I expected at all. Vertical Velocity made up for it, sitting in the front seats is incredible. I still think I'm afraid of the ride, yet find it exhilirating. We circled the park for a number of hours, then headed over to Gurnee Mill to eat and wander the stores. It poured while we were there, glad we left the park when we did. Tomorrow I'm back to work after the rain soaked, fun filled weekend. Good thing the next weekend is only a number of days away.

Running Water 9:10 PM

I just got home for the night. Was out when the sky darkened. Doug said let's go get something to eat and the tornado sirens started going off. It wasn't raining yet so we drove to Bella's and had burgers as a storm rolled in. We went over to his house when we were finished, put on the TV and watched the news reportsabout the storm as it raged and flooded and poured. We watched a movie until it seemed calm enough for me to head on home. I had to detour numerous times because of flooded intersections and streets. I noticed the basement here was flooded when I came in. It's been an adventurous day.

Running on 8:54 AM

Got in late, got up early. The sun's shining and I'm ready to head out the door. I'm going to meet some friends for breakfast, and spend the day outside wandering. Enjoy.

Weathering The Storms 5:46 PM

Another active weather day, complete with tornado warnings. I seemed to have avoided most of the storms though. I drove home from work with the windows down, wearing sunglasses. The storms were all around me, but not were I was. Tornado sirens were going off, but I didn't get a drop of rain on me. It did rain a little bit after I got home, a couple of rumbles of thunder, but nothing severe. Heading out for the evening, going over by Doug's, then out around town. The bad weather has passed, so let the good times begin!

Awash 7:16 PM

It was a very interesting morning. Storms raced through the area early. I was able to get to work in-between the rain. Once I was there, the sky darkened and another batch of storms came. The lights flickered, it poured and the parking lot flooded. By 10:30am, all the cars had to be moved from the lot. I watched the storms out the window. It cleared up around noon. At one point, a deer ran through the lot, searching for dry land. It's supposed to be a stormy weekend, I hope the weatherman is incorrect.

Whites and Darks 8:22 PM

Since it is dreary out, I tackled the laundry I've been putting off for days. Been reading in between cycles and watching TV. Other than that not much going on. I got a Sonicare toothbrush, so now I will be taking better care of my teeth, been using a whitener to clean them up, since they are discolored from years of coffee drinking, smoking, and the oncology mouth rinses. Soon I will face the dentist, until then I will work on my smile.

Fit 8:39 PM

The game ended up being a nail biter (I need to stop that). Luckily, the Brewer's held off the Diamond Backs and won the game 4 to 3. I got home late, well past my bed time and I was exhausted today. Originally I planned on doing some laundry tonight, changed my mind and went to Southridge with Doug, ended up buying cargo shorts and shirts. I needed shorts since none of them fit me. Now I have clothes to wear for the summer. I'll do the laundry tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to finish a crossword and go to sleep.

The Ball Game 3:26 PM

Just got home from work, changing clothes and running out the door. Going to the ball game with my Dad tonight. My favorite part is the fireworks after the Brewers hit a home run. There had better be some!

Rummaging 7:44 PM

I worked (if you can call it that) at Char's rummage sale today. It was another nice day and I enjoyed sitting and laughing with her while people stopped by to browse the collection of things she set out to sell. Most of it is from an estate sale she purchased last year and is slowly going through and selling bit by bit. I must say rummagers are definitely interesting to watch. Some are looking for specific items, others looking for the rare find. Most are friendly, but some can come across as quite rude. Char handles them all with good nature. I could learn a thing or two from her!

Nice Day For A Party 9:17 PM

What a great day out. I went to Ryan's 3rd birthday party this afternoon. Got to spend time with Kim, Jody, Steve and Tracy and the rest of the gang. I had a good time, there was plenty to eat, drink, and converse about. It is so nice to get together with friends and just hang out for the day. Ryan liked my present alot, a walking, roaring dinosaur. After all rhe gifts were opened, it was mine he chose to walk around with. I made a good choice. Now it's time to rest, relax, sleep.

Open Door Policy 7:33 PM

After the storms this morning, the temperature went up and it became quite nice out. We decided to prop the door open at work to get some fresh air. It caused quite a stir, as people would come on in and visit through out the day. It is so nice sitting right by the door, I'll have the door open whenever the weather is nice. I ran over to Target during the lunch hour to pick up a few things and while I was leaving the store, a woman driving an oldsmobile bounced over a divider and wedged her car between a cart corral and a parked car. It was interesting to see. That's why I usually park farther away from the door. It's supposed to be a nice weekend, so I hope to get out and about and enjoy it.

Soap and Water 3:34 PM

The rain is falling, so it's a good night to catch up on my laundry. The week has gone slowly, even with the extra day off, glad tomorrow is Friday. As I was making coffee this morning at work, I decided that today would be a coffee free day and I drank water instead. Not sure why I decided that, just something to do I guess. There were times when I reached for my coffee mug, but then remembered I wasn't drinking coffee. Tomorrow I'll be back to the grind and enjoy my first mug.

Head To Toe 5:29 PM

The weekend is over, it was nicely paced, didn't fly by, and I had plenty of time to lounge. The weather was nice, up until last night when the temperature dropped 30 degrees in minutes. Today is downright chilly. I am wearing layers, yesterday I was in cargo shorts and a tshirt. Stopped at Target on the way home, got some Excedrin and socks, an odd combination of things to buy. For some reason, wandering the aisles of the store didn't interest me today, which is a good thing, I didn't spend excessively. Tonight I'm going to wrap myself in a blanket on the couch and read, trying to stay warm.

Lounging About 6:43 PM

Today I didn't get anything accomplished besides reading and watching TV. It's such a nice day out, but I haven't been motivated to get out and enjoy it. Yesterday I got to go to the zoo, have a good Chinese dinner, and relax. It was a nice day. Looking forward to more lounging tomorrow. I like three day weekends with nothing to do.

Action, Adventure, and Lounging 10:05 AM

The holiday weekend is here, three days to run amok if I choose, or to lay on the couch if I feel like it. Last night went out for dinner and saw the latest Indiana Jones movie. It was entertaining and I enjoyed the action, adventure, and mythology of it. The sun is shining, so I will get outside today, and who knows what else. Sometimes the uncharterted weekend is the best. There's another ANTM marathon this weekend, I'm reading a good book, my couch is comfortable, there's plenty to keep me busy.

Busy 6:59 PM

Still waiting for the weather to bump up and stay warm, there's still an edge to the air, a coolness that keeps me from wearing shorts. Maybe over the weekend. Work is getting busy, I'm actually leaving work at night with files sitting on my desk. I ran out of work, did some quick shopping, headed home and finished a crossword puzzle, then met Doug out at Culver's for a bite to eat. Now I'm starting a new book that should keep me occupied a number of days. In the paper today there was a list of new book releases for the summer, and it looks like I will have plenty to read. Well, the couch is calling.

Motoring 9:25 PM

I have narrowed my choice of new vehicles down to two, either the Jeep Wrangler or the Dodge Nitro. I have always wanted a Wrangler, but have been interested in the Nitro since I seen it at the car show in February. Since both are Chrysler vehicles, they have many of the same features I want. If I decide on the Jeep, it will have a removeable top, and the Nitro will have a sun roof. Both are in the same price range I am looking to spend. Now I will have to test drive both to see which suits me. Of course whatever vehicle I settle on will have 4WD. I am not in a hurry to get a new one, so my decision will be made over the course of the next several months. My goal is to buy one in the next year.

How About That! 6:56 PM

I had my fifteen minutes of fame today. I was the featured reader of the day for Pop Candy, the entertainment blog at USA Today online. http://blogs.usatoday.com/popcandy/2008/05/pop-forum-ta-12.html#more
How cool is that? I had dinner with Mom and Dad, Mike, Erin, and Hans this evening. We sat around, ate good food, laughed, caught up with each other. I enjoy these informal family gatherings. Now it's time to watch Family Guy on TBS and get some reading done.

Two Flags 3:52 PM

Ran down to Six Flags Great America today to get in a few roller coasters. The lines were short and got on the rides with hardly a wait. Had a late lunch at Joe's Crab Shack in Gurnee and stopped at the Jelly Belly retail store on the way back. It was a nice day to get away for a number of hours. Now I'll settle onto the couch, read some and wait for the Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad to come on.

Cleaned Up and Places To Go 5:41 PM

I always look better after Kim cuts my hair. I should schedule a regular appointment instead of waiting until I can't stand dealing with it. I stopped off for some coffee, went to the book store and bought some books, went to the mall, got some clothes and the sunglasses I wanted, stopped at the grocery store for food and snacks. The weather was nice to be running around. I toyed with the idea of riding my bike, but the pull of the couch and reading won out. Going to lounge for the evening and I'll see what tomorrow brings in the way of adventure.

An Inch Or So Off The Top 6:59 PM

It's been kind of an up and down week for me. I'm glad it's the weekend. I need to get a haircut, it's getting long, curly, and unruly. I have an appointment in the morning with Kim. I'm going to get groomed, cleaned up. Then I'll do some running, been meaning to get out and shop a little. Tonight I'm just hanging out, going to do some reading, relaxing, and TV watching. Tomorrow is all about self indulgence.

The Point Of No Returns 5:14 PM

The Social Security Debacle continues. They have absconded my 2007 tax return and the economic stimulation rebate payment. Now, not only am I trying to get them to stop garnishing my wages, I have to attempt to get monies back from them. One frustrating call after another and there seems little I can do at this time except wait. The stop order on the garnishment has been placed, which is only a temporary fix. I was informed it can be up to three months before Social Security will have updated and completed my records. I am frightened. I can only call each time I get a notice to make sure the administration is working on my account. I had to file paperwork requesting a refund. I wonder if this will ever get settled.

Reoccurring Nightmare 6:43 PM

The Social Security Debacle continues. Even though they have determined I do not owe any money, I have received a notice to garnish my wages again. I contacted the local office, spoke to the representative who is handling my case and he explained that while I do not owe anything, their payment center still shows an overpayment and the garnishment order is automatically generated. Once the account is noted, the garnishment will be withdrawn. In the meantime, he has placed another stop order. Once again I will have to call on a daily basis to make sure this is done. Work needs to receive notice of the stop order, otherwise they have to send payment. I have no words to convey how I feel about the social security administration at this point. This is a neverending nightmare.

Mom 6:00 PM

Today is Mother's Day. I spent the day with my Mom and Dad. We went out for breakfast, went to the casino (where I won $50!), did some shopping, watched the baseball game (where the Brewers won!), played a game of scrabble (where Mom won by nine points!), and had dinner together. It was a nice day even though it was cool, damp, and rainy. Tonight I am channel hopping, so many shows that I want to see, I'll try to catch them all in bits and pieces. Mom, hope your day was as enjoyable as mine was.

One Flag 5:06 PM

Doug and I got down to Six Flags Great America for the first time today. The season pass is going to work out rather nicely. We got on most of the roller coasters, picked out a couple for our next run to the park. The lines weren't bad at all, the longest wait was for our burgers at Johnny Rockets. The weather was decent, got a little chilly but nothing to complain about. I faced my fear of heights, got on the giant drop, kept my eyes open, and actually enjoyed the free fall. Afterwards, we both admitted that was the one ride we weren't too eager to get on. Now, it's not a big deal. Until I face it again.

Tufts of Fur 9:21 PM

On the walk today, I noticed animal fur scattered across the lawn of a business we pass by. At first it looked like clumps of grass left behind after mowing, but there were so many that it seemed out of the ordinary. I crossed the lawn to get a closer look. Some kind of animal had been mauled. It was definitely kind of freaky. I ran back to the road and wished I hadn't been so curious. Tonight I went out for a fish fry, came home, wrestled with the PC and printer (I need a new computer!) and now I'm settling in for the night. Going to run about this weekend.

In Pursuit 5:51 PM

On the way to work this morning, I had to pass by two squad cars parked on opposite sides of the road, one with lights flashing, the other an unmarked squad. The occupants were not in the vehicles. I noticed them running between two houses, obviously tracking someone. It was quite interesting to see. Later on this morning, I mentioned it at work. A coworker stated they had encountered a similar scene a few miles from where I had, on their way to work. I wonder what happened, saw no mention of it on the news tonight. Intriguing.

Pretense 7:49 PM

I have been going to doctors since July of 2006 and find it amazing how some people use the excuse of going to the doctor to skip out of work continuously. I want to say I'm offended by their actions, but since their behavior is completely discourteous and inconsiderate on a regular basis, I feel immune to it. A habitual liar is just that, a liar and no matter what they say, I don't believe anything out of their mouth at this point, whether it's the truth or not. I wonder how someone can become so disconnected.

Culvers De Mayo 8:05 PM

After a busy day at work, I came home, pulled the mail, did a crossword, watched some TV, then headed out to Culvers for a burger and malt, then to Target for some household items. Figured it was a good evening to do some running around since the weather is pretty nice. Now I'm going to lounge about, watch some TV and relax for the rest of the evening.

Spare Me 8:06 PM

I bowled today. Three games for MS. Scores 174, 145, 141. I am not kidding. For some reason, I did well. Much higher than my usual. Now my average goes up. Considering I bowl at most once a year I think I did pretty good. Now my legs and arms are tired so I'm heading for the couch.

A Typical Atypical Friday 8:23 PM

Work was busy, lots of accounts needing attention, new ones coming on board. I like when I have things to do. Grabbed a bite to eat with Doug, hung out at the coffee shop for awhile and got a season pass to Six Flags Great America. A nice relaxing evening all around. Good to get out and see my friends. Now I'm going to settle in on the couch and lounge.

Walking the Earth, Walking the Moon 5:29 PM

Today was the first day of the walking club at work. It's a good way to expel some energy, get outside, get some exercise. We walk through the business/industrial park. I met Kim for lunch at Arizona Grille, to give her my astronaut costume. Sarah is going to be Sally Ride for a presentation at her school, and I had the perfect outfit for her to wear, complete with helmet. I enjoyed spending time talking with Kim, even if it was for a short time. I always enjoy getting together with my friends.

Personal Space 4:19 PM

I went shopping at Target today. I was looking to get underwear, so I was browsing the different brands when all of a sudden I sensed someone standing next to me. It was an older man who was just standing there. I wonder why it seems like anytime I stop to look at something, someone comes along and needs to look in the exact same location as me. I didn't need to purchase any, so I left the aisle. It was like an intrusion.
I ran into Heidi and Mario while I was wandering the store. It was nice to see them. I ended up getting a CD, a DVD, some coffee, and snacks.

The Social Security Administration has discovered that I returned all the payments in question and has noted my account. I will be receiving notification in the mail. Once I do, I will finally feel that the situation has been solved. The clerk I spoke with was well informed and seemed competent. I'll be glad to have this settled once and for all.

Where Credit Is Due 4:42 PM

I have gotten my credit reports from the three major agencies. I was surprised to see that there wasn't too many bad marks, a number of questionable ones, and good reports. I will be disputing the bad and questionable reports in order to clear up my credit. It is fair, but I want excellence. That way I will be able to acquire things that I want to get. I should have done this sooner, but I am now taking the necessary steps.

Full Time 3:53 PM

Started the day early. Tim picked my up about 8:30am, we ran out to Scott's house and changed the tires on Tim's Jeep. Then we went out for breakfast, did some shopping, had to stop at the book store of course, ran to the library, then over to Steve's house. It was non-stop, fun, and busy. Now I'm going to lounge for a while. More running to do tomorrow, Nicholas's first communion party, and I want to stop at Brookfield Square. I like when my days are filled up.

Questions 7:45 PM

While everything is going well, I find myself questioning so many things in my life. I feel adrift and get lost within my thoughts lately. I almost feel desperate to hold on to things to stabilize myself. I'm not depressed, or irrational, just want the best in everything, and trying to figure it all out, find where I belong. So many things I was content with no longer appease me, other things I believed I wanted I no longer think about. I have waited so long to hear the news I got yesterday, it feels great, now leaves a big question mark on my future. It's wide opened and I don't want to settle for anything less than what I want. I just have to figure what it is I want. Besides leaving behind this feeling of unease.

All Clear 3:10 PM

Just got home from my oncologist appointment. Everything is good, great in fact. All blood counts normal, the scans clean and clear, all lymph nodes back to normal sizes, no traces of lymphoma anywhere. I will go in for a follow up in three months, no lab work or scans, just a follow up. That kind of news put a smile on my face. Today at work was the monthly food day, a tailgate party with hot dogs, all the fixings, and plenty of side dishes and desserts. Best of all, it was casual day too.

Caller Identification 7:00 PM

I'm not sure how long it's been happening but anytime the phone rings, the caller ID appears on my TV screen. It took me a while to figure it out. I get the combined TV/Phone/Internet package from the cable company and it must be one of the services provided. Now I don't even have to get off the couch while watching TV to see who's calling. Technology at it's finest and me at my laziest. What a combination.

Sirens 7:55 PM

Through out the day, I heard sirens. First, at work, paramedics had to come after a woman collapsed . On the way home, I had to pull over to let several police cars go by on Rawson Avenue. Then tonight, fire trucks and ambulances were called to the building next door. Interesting how wailing sirens catch and hold your attention.

Shack and the City 3:23 PM

Over the weekend I encountered two different types of customer service. I wanted to get some accessories for the Zune, did some research on the Internet, and decided to stop in at Radio Shack which I had a coupon and they had reasonable prices. I searched the MP3 section and could only find IPod accessories. I asked the sales clerk for assistance. He told me they do not carry Zune because they are inferior to IPod and there is no demand for Zune products. I showed him print outs from the Radio Shack website. He told me that I should order off the site and walked away. I decided I wouldn't be purchasing anything from Radio Shack. I drove to Circuit City, browsed their MP3 area, and couldn't find what I was looking for. An associate asked if I needed help. I explained what I wanted. He went to their computer, looked the information up and ordered the components for me. I received the 10% discount for the Radio Shack coupon, plus and additional 10% Circuit City discount and free shipping of the items, which will be delivered directly to me. What a difference in customer service. Next time I will consider Circuit City and not even bother with Radio Shack.

Innundated 4:07 PM

The weather called for rain today. It's mostly been cloudy, with no rain at all. My apartment on the other hand has been flooded with asian beetles, box elder bugs, wasps, and various other insects. The warmer weather has brought out all the creepy crawlers at once. I've been spraying, swatting, squishing lots of bugs.

Shaken Not Stirred 6:21 PM

Most of the talk today centered on the earthquake that happened this morning at 4:37am. I just happened to be up at that time and didn't notice a thing. When the news came on at 5:00am, it was breaking news. The building I live in rattles and groans on it's own so if it did make any movements or noise, it wasn't anything I heard or felt before. Of course throughout the day, I had to elaborate on the story. The weather is starting to get nicer bit by bit, which is a good thing, I'm itching to spend more time outdoors.

BREAKING NEWS: Walking Man has been spotted driving his van today.

Sometimes it's Better Not Knowing 3:35 PM

I was craving ice cream, so I checked out Kopp’s website to see the flavor of the day. "Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough". One of my favorite flavors is Blue Moon. Part of the fun, besides it being this cool blue color, is trying to figure out what the flavor of it really is. It became a topic of discussion. Well this woman who heard the discussion proceeded to tell me “It’s made with . . .” and the realization of what she told me struck. It won't stop me from getting it when it's on the menu, but the mystery of it is now over.

All Aglow 1:42 PM

Radioactive for the day. The nuclear medicine makes me feel blah, worn. I think it's because of the fasting, having an empty stomach. It's not to bad today, took snacks with me to munch on afterwards, just got done eating some lunch. I will be trying to nap soon, but there are workers here blasting the sides of the building. They are up on the roof too, so I might not be able to sleep. I'll just lounge and read, waiting for the glow to fade. I have my oncology appointment next week and will find out the results of the scans then. Clean scans are my desire.

Directions 3:44 PM

Interesting day at work. Company made some management decisions that will propel the company in a new direction, hopefully a good one. People did lose their jobs, all management positions, and responsibilities shifted. It made for an unsettling morning, by afternoon things seemed to have quieted down. No one was directly effected in my department. How the changes play out is yet to be seen.

Tomorrow I have the CT and Pet scans in the morning. I begin my fasting period tonight, twelve hours before the scans, so I plan on snacking and eating right up until the last minute. After 8:30pm it's water only for me. I'm going to eat a large dinner. While the scans are no big deal, the fast and the radioactive dye make it an adventure.

Getting Closer 12:33 PM

I just received the stop order on my wage garnishment from the social security administration. Good news. What a relief. Now the case should take a turn for the better and they will discover I do not owe them any money, I did not collect any disability benefits. Until I get that notification, I will continue to work with the contact at my congressman's office. Things are definitely looking up. One more person to talk to and things will be just fine. It's nice to have hope that things will be all right.

I did dance last night, escaped into music. Today, the body is letting me know I pushed my limits a bit, but it felt great stomping around, staying out late. I will be napping throughout the day to recover. Tomorrow I'll venture out for coffee, or an ice cream, or Target or something.

Haunted 6:36 PM

It's Friday night, and I am venturing out to my old stomping grounds, the east side, specifically Mad Planet. I will be immersed in 80s alternative music. Hopefully the body will move as it had back then. Do I even remember how to dance? It's been quite a while since I've thrown my self around to the beats. Hopefully it won't beat me up to badly. I'll probably just hover in a dark corner, but the plan is to dance my ass off.

Cover to Cover 4:39 PM

On a cold, damp, rainy day, it's perfect for curling up on the couch under a blanket and reading. That's exactly what I plan on doing. The TV's on and I have a good book calling my name. I got bloodwork done in anticipation of my upcoming doctor's appointment and the Pet and CT scans are scheduled for next week Tuesday. That pretty much covers all that is going on these days.

Words 3:34 PM

Excepts taken from "The Last Lecture" by Dr Randy Pausch

- Loyalty is a two-way street.
- Never give up.
- You get people to help you by telling the truth. Being earnest. I'll take an earnest person over a hip person
every day, because hip is short term. Earnest is long term.
- Apologize when you screw up and focus on other people, not on yourself.
- Get a feedback loop and listen to it. ... Anybody can get chewed out. It's the rare person who says, oh my god,
you were right. ... When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it.
- Show gratitude.
- Don't complain. Just work harder.
- Be good at something, it makes you valuable.
- Work hard.
- Find the best in everybody. ... No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side; just keep waiting, it will come out.
- Be prepared. Luck is truly where preparation meets opportunity.

Makes you think about things and people. It's about missing your parents, who are spending days in a warmer clime; missing someone you consider your best friend, not being afraid of letting them know you value the friendship, and are grateful for the time spent, wondering what they've been up to, hoping you get to see them sooner rather than later; missing your brother who lives a short distance away, yet you haven't had the opportunity to get together lately; working on solving dilemmas to make life easier; working to improve yourself to be a better person. I find the this to be inspirational.

Dressing for Work and Lunch 6:01 PM

One careless movement and I ended up wearing my lunch. Somehow as I was removing it from the microwave at work, I flipped my turkey dinner to the floor at my feet. Turkey, dressing, gravy, cherry cobbler on my pants, shoes, and socks. Of course I dressed up today, not my usual casual attire. It happened on a day when I was hungry and had no other food in the freezer or snacks in my desk. I was able to clean it up decently. Marti saved the day and brought me chicken strips and pasta salad. I'm chuckling about it still, as I write. The clothes are in the washer, it was time to do laundry again anyways.

Saturday and Sundae 6:07 PM

Spent most of the weekend running around. Started out early Saturday morning by Char's house helping set up and working the rummage sale. Ran to McDonalds for lunch, watched and played with Kaiyah, took her in the Stroller aroundthe neighborhood, walked to Boy Blue with her and Kirsi and got everyone ice cream. I spent the whole day outside and it was incredible. Once the rummage was finished, drove out to Kim's. Her and I went to check out designs for the tattoo I want to get, should I be so bold. Then we went to the Home Show along with Scott, Sarah, and Nicholas, wandered through the expo and stopped to pick up some ice cream for some sundaes with homemade hot fudge sauce. In the morning, after coffee and breakfast, I left Kim's and headed over to Jody's for a day of shopping. We finished the day off having turtle sundaes. Now I'm home, time to unwind and settle on the couch for a night of reading and TV watching. It was a nice, active, calming weekend, compared to the unsettled week I had. Ice cream always makes for a great day.

The Phone Call and The Van 6:43 PM

One twenty minute phone call change the course of the social security debacle. I spoke with the a staff member of my congressman this morning, explained the situation, she made a few calls herself, and a stop order on the wage garnishment was placed, while my case is being reviewed. She managed to accomplish in two short hours what I have been trying to get done the past six months. While the case isn't completely over (social security needs to figure out I did not collect payment, therefore I owe no money), at least I am not being steam-rolled over by the government and my wages are not being stolen from me. I now have an advocate to work with. (Thank you Leeanne for pointing me in the right direction!)

My universe is not spinning out of control.

Christine and I went to Taco Bell for lunch today. Walking Man's van was parked in the lot. We expected him to be sitting at his table highlighting passages in his bible, but he was not. We watched and waited while we ate. He never showed up while we were there. We figured he must be out walking.

The Lobbyist 8:26 PM

Tonight's adventure: The buzzer to my apartment doesn't work. Around 7:15pm the UPS guy came with some packages I ordered so I went down to the lobby to meet him. I didn't grab my keys. Now you know where this is going. Without thinking, I opened the outside door for him and let the lobby door close behind me. As I signed for the packages, I told the UPS guy I just locked myself out. I tried all the buzzers. No response, there was nobody in the building. I sat and waited until 8:20pm when my neighbor across the hall finally arrived and now I'm back in my apartment. I laughed. It fits right in with the kind of off kilter days I've been having. I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Getting There 2:54 PM

After yesterday, I needed time to refocus and regroup. I don't feel as scattered as I have in the past couple of days. Things still haven't been resolved, but at least I feel I am in the process of getting things done. I wrote my Congressman about the SSI debacle and have contacted the SS office daily to push things along. All things will get back to good, I'm sure of it.

Feeling Hopeless 2:04 PM

The Govenment is about to garnish my wages for unpaid social security disabilty benefits and not one person in the Social Security Administration is concerned about the situation. I have been made to feel like I am at fault, that despite not collecting the money, they have the right to take my income. Even though I have followed procedures within the system, the system is now victimizing me and I have nowhere to turn for help or assistance. It's frustrating, demoralizing, and all seems hopeless to stop the government. Seems like my whole universe is shaken and I'm losing things left and right and in Bay View.